The Juggle Act

Well, readers we have news! I really didn't feel the need to see a specialist. I really felt last night (and this morning), that when I heard from the doctor I would do whatever he suggested. So....tada! Ady has gained a POUND in 17 days. BIG jump! After they weighed her, I felt better knowing she had gained.

Her doctor asked me how "difficult" our days were without the 2 doses. I said, "she's fussy." He responded, "Well, but my question is: how difficult are your days? Explain to me what they're like." I said, "She's fussy!" He said, "What you have to realize is that reflux babies are very fussy. What I need for you to tell me is how big of a lifestyle change is it?"

Yikes. Moral of the story: she was given 4 refills for 2 Prevacid's a day. He was okay with her having 2, but said that he wanted me to still try 1 from time to time and see if it's something I can "handle." I didn't say this, but of course I CAN handle it. But, I don't WANT to handle it. And, doesn't that mean she's in pain? Why make her in any more? He basically said that these babies are incredibly fussy a lot of the time. Sigh..... But, there is an increase of upper resperitory infections in babies with increased doses of Prevacid but he agreed with me that the benefits greatly outweighed the risks.

I explained how Joseph had this as an infant but outgrew it around 9 months. I didn't know if it was because he was on all solids or if it was how long it took his body to mature. He told me it was a mixture of both. I also explained the massive amounts of spitting that she still does. He said, "my son had horrible reflux and spit MASSIVE amounts until he was 14 months old. So, some babies just don't stop as soon as they get the solids" Sigh.....

He also said some babies have to remain on 2 doses of Prevacid after 9 months (but not many), but most stay on it UNTIL 9 months. So, he is hopefully Ady will be like her daddy and will outgrow it around 9 months, but is also prepared that it may be longer.

So, what exactly is it that's going to outgrow or mature? At the bottom of the esophagus is the LES (lower esophageal sphinctor). This is the muscle that seals the esophagus. It opens when you burp. It stays sealed so air can travel from your mouth into your lungs. After swallowing, the LES stays sealed to prevent stomach contents from coming back up to the mouth. When the LES fails, stomach acid, partially digested food, and bile can enter the esophagus. This gives a painful, burning sensation. The more fluid entering the esophagus, the greater the pain will be. In GERD babies, their LES does not have the strength to stay sealed properly. Their tiny little stomachs and new digestive systems are producing more gas then normal. This means the burps of Ady's are literally bursting open her esophagus, weakening the LES.

Clear as mud? Poor Ady. It breaks my heart. The past two days while I've fed her breakfast and supper she's screamed during the feedings. I thought she was just super hungry. So, I'd hurry up and feed her through the screams (because she MUST get the solids in), and then pick her up. She'd immediately burp and then be back to her happy self. Her doctor told me today that the Prevacid will not eliminate the arching of her back or painful burps. It's just kind of part of the process of dealing with her issue.

I thanked him for all his help and he said, "I've done nothing! I know how hard it is to have a reflux baby. I have had 2 mothers show up on my doorstep in tears because of their baby's reflux issues. It's not easy at all. But, I can promise you that she will outgrow it."

It was refreshing to hear that it's not anything more serious. The fact that she's gaining on so many solids proves that her LES is just not mature enough. And, hopefully sooner than later, it will be mature enough.

Ady had butternut squash today and loved it! She's eating every last bite of all her food. I was concerned that maybe it was too much, but he actually wants me to add even another solid to her daily feeding. Meaning she'll be getting 2 solids at breakfast, 2 at lunch, 2 at supper, and 1 with her nighttime bottle. She has a similar schedule to a much older baby, but the milk alone was just making her problem worse. Had we kept her on more formula, less (or no) solids, she wouldn't have gained weight. He said she really went way up on the growth chart since our last visit, but since she's so tiny she had room to do so.

We'll reevalute at her 6 month check up on March 10th. I am so grateful for a doctor like Ady has. I am very thankful that she's gaining weight. Ady was such a wanted baby. I hope she never doubts how much she was longed for in our family. She is a miracle, she defied scientific explanation and will always be worth anything that we must go through !

So, if you invite me for lunch and I decline; if you'd like me to come for dinner and I'm hesitant, know that although Ady is better, feeding times are still a struggle. She will sometimes scream at the top of her lungs during her feeding (until the burps come up), and then within minutes be back to her happy self. I have to come to the point where I'm comfortable enough to handle the screams. And right now, I'm not. But, I'm learning!

This entire experience has definitely been a juggling act. I've had to use my mad math skills to figure everything out :) I've learned much patience and much reliance on God. I hope that Joseph and I are blessed with more children of our own, and I know I've said this before, but if the next baby doesn't have reflux, I really don't think I'll know how to "behave"! But, my heart hurts that Ady has had to endure all this pain. I am thankful at how much farther we are than when she was 8 weeks old and I literally wanted to run away from utter exhaustion and a baby that just wouldn't stop screaming all day. We've made HUGE strides!

Oh, and the mark I found? It's a birth mark! But, didn't show up until last week. :)

Thank you, readers, for all your prayers. We are enjoying sharing the ups and downs of Ady's journey with you all. Know that at the end of each day, all that matters is Jesus and the one little miracle He so graciously delivered to us.