Intentions

Mothers have good intentions. They want what's best for their child. I have had the best of intentions all along with Ady. I had intentions of returning to my job and when they laid her in my arms, I just couldn't do it. Some saw this as weakness, I saw it as strength. I knew that I would be a better mother to Ady if I stayed home with her. Does that mean those who work aren't as good of mothers? Absolutely not!

I have had Ady's best intentions at heart with dealing with her reflux. POSSIBLE GOOD NEWS: after today I've fed more solids, less formula (which, I know is not ideal, but she's still getting enough nutrition from the formula), and tada! Very, very minimal spit. Did she spit? Of course! But, it's not coming out like a fountain. Perhaps an answer? Well, you all know if this stays on the track we've remained on, tomorrow she'll be spitting like mad. Maybe if I tell you about good news and are prepared for bad to return, it won't?

Ady is SUCH a good eater. So far she's had (and loved): bananas, prunes, peaches, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears. And she eats the ENTIRE jar. The girl is hungry :) We start squash on Monday. Yummo! She's also been okay on just one dose of Prevacid. I'm not sure why she (or nobody else in the house) is not sleeping at nights. Last night's cries didn't "sound" like her normal reflux pain. She has an awful cold and doesn't sleep much (day or night). I know she's got to be exhausted. I don't know what I would do with a baby that took an hour nap. Seriously? I'm lucky to get 30 minutes out of her!

But, nevertheless, she is so precious. When I see her smile I'm reminded of Genesis 50:20. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..." Why that verse? Every road I've taken thus far has led me to my beautiful blue eyed baby girl. All the turmoil that we endured in the beginning of our marriage; those who wanted us to fail, led me here. All the pain to have Ady, led me here. All the "friends" who no longer kept in touch, led me here. All the nights I spent wondering if I was even worthy to be a mother, led me here. All the people who treated me so poorly for leaving my job, led me here. Today, I can stand strong and say what others meant for harm, God IS using for good.

I can use my story and turn it into something good for the kingdom of God! Today, I am more patient. I am more loving. I am better on no sleep (haha, no not really! But, I'm trying).

So as this Valentine's Day approaches. I guess when it's all said and done, if you, in your heart have good intentions, that's really all that matters. "Man looks at outward apperaance, but the Lord looks at the heart."-1 Samuel 16:7

Happy (early) Valentine's Day from little Ady :)