Learning as we go

I remember when I went to the hospital when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I had a terrible cough and (as strange as it sounds), when I coughed my back went out. It was excruciating pain. While I knew that it wouldn't have effected Ady at all, I cried for an ultrasound for the doctor to just check on her. She called her "critter" because at that time we didn't know there was an Ady in my tummy! I will never forget her saying, "This is just the beginning! You will worry about her every single day until you take your last breath." And she's right.

I thought it was the pregnancy. I was worried about every cramp, feeling, you name it. Dr. Karon got a big kick out of me. We became very good friends :) I talked to her a LOT. She'd say, "You are going to be just fine and have the most beautiful baby ever." Maybe it's the fact I never thought I'd have a baby, or maybe it's my genes. Actually, I know it's my genes. I come from a long line of worriers. Needless to say, I worried about her in the womb and I worry about her even more now that she's here. Is it a cold or is it more? Is she warm from too many clothes or a fever? Is that an ear infection? Does she have a bubble? I suppose this just goes with the territory of being a mommy :)

Now I am doing what the doctor told me to do 4 weeks ago. Teach Ady to self soothe. I have not and never have been okay with "crying it out". But, there is a line. The doctor taught me how to appropriately teach her to self soothe. Let her cry 5 minutes, then come in the room rub her back, give her the paci, talk to her, step slowly away from the crib. Then wait 5 more minutes, do the same thing. It's hard. Very, very hard. But, I know that she needs to learn that she can't just sleep on me all the time. I don't want to create a monster and not let anyone babysit her because she just wants to be with mommy all the time! It's too soon to say there's any improvement. But, last night she woke at 4:30 for a bottle (8 1/2 hours-go Ady!!) and laid her down, although she didn't go to sleep. She's been doing this and I'll usually stay up with her and start my day then. Last night I fell back asleep. And at 6:40 I woke up to Ady still asleep. Which means, tada! She got herself to sleep. But, our naps are a little harder. One time today while practicing the "5 minutes" rule I thought the cry sounded a little different. I picked her up and she had a bubble. Sometimes after she takes her medicine she'll get them. So, I made a mental note that whenever I give her the medicine to watch for her to get a bubble. She eventually got herself to sleep and has been asleep for an hour and 20 minutes so far.

Do you know how valuable an hour and 20 minutes is? I haven't put this little girl down since birth! I couldn't wash, cook, clean, do a thing. Now, I can. Believe me, I know the dishes can wait. The clothes can wait, but my time with her won't. I am not giving up snuggling her and loving my sweet baby. But, I feel that the time has come to let her "spread her wings and fly".

Parenting is the hardest job. Ever. Hands down. This is just the tip of the iceburg. Next it's skinned knees, then broken hearts, and as a mommy it's hard to watch your baby suffer, but know it's best for them to learn. I have a glimpse of understanding what God feels when He allows something bad to happen in our lives and we cry, but He knows it's best for us in the end. As I stood outside our door as she was sleeping I was reminding myself of that-through tears. That, He, the God who holds the world in place, understands.

On another note, Ady met her boyfriend Owen last week. Here's some pictures to recap the "experience":
Ady is growing each day. Look at what happens when I turn my head:

We're headed to Nashville to visit my dad's side of the family and celebrate Christmas with them. We can't wait to introduce Ady to all of them and see everyone!

We are ready for Christmas time with our precious little gift, one we never dreamed we would have to hold one day! This Christmas, there is a special stocking where there once was a void:

Put a little holiday in your heart

Christmastime is here! We spent our Friday evening at our very good friends house, Heather and Brett, for a couples Tacky Christmas sweater party. We had an absolute blast!

Ady even had on a tacky sweater!

She was so happy to see her Aunt Heather :)


We had an absolute blast seeing all our friends and playing a very competitive game of Catch Phrase! (One that we, the girls, lost by a HAIR in the last second). I feel a rematch coming soon! But, my FAVORITE part of the night was Ralph the Elf. Let me explain....

When I was a little girl "Ralph the Elf" would call our house around Christmastime. He always knew what I wanted for Christmas and he also would remind me to follow the rules. He'd remind me to vacuum the house or clean the bathrooms, make my bed, etc. I looked forward to his call EVERY year. Caden is on the verge of questioning Santa and when I heard about it, I knew we had to do something. Ralph the Elf (or his character) passed away years ago. Joseph decided he would become Ralph. After about an hour of practicing (and LOTS of laughs!) we just decided that it sounded too much like him. He just couldn't disguise his voice well enough. So, Brett was our Ralph last night. We have it on video of him calling and it is precious. At first Caden didn't believe it was real. He thought it was Austin and asked for Ralph's "identification". Haha!! And after his call, it's all Caden has been able to talk about.

This morning I called Caden and he said, "Bekah, guess what? An elf from the North Pole called me last night! He said Santa wanted to make sure he knew what kind of Lego set I wanted. He told me not to leave the reindeer BreadnButter pickles, but dill ones. He knew all about Ady. And guess what! He said I was on the NICE list!" If ever I needed the magic of Christmas back into my life, there it was.

Him and Ady had a matching pj picture session today with Tammy at her home. And the magic and wonder of the season is so evident on his face. He is STILL talking about the elf from the North Pole who called him.

Enjoy the magic of this season.

A picture says a thousand words

Well, readers. She's done it again! We took Ady for her 3 month pictures with the fabulous Tammy Lanham on Monday. And Tammy, once again did absolutely beautiful work!

I was very nervous about how it'd all go. We had about an hour and 15 minutes travel time and had to coordinate it with feeding, traveling, getting a nap in so she'd be happy, making sure she'd still get her medicine in the morning around time of pictures (but not too soon before the feeding). So, I was a little antsy trying to make it all perfect. I'm learning as I go, that things just aren't going to be perfect. My perfectionist ways are slowly diminishing. It's funny how I used to perfect myself before leaving the house. Now, I might look like an old dish rag, but Ady will look like a million bucks! Well, she could wear a brown paper sack and she'd still look like a million bucks :)

Check out some of the pictures.....



She's even cute when she cries....



And then some pictures of her in her handmade smocked dress made by her "Tatay":

But I do believe if ever a picture could bring tears to my eyes, it'd be this one:


It says it all. What a precious little gift from God.

This morning I had to go back to the ob and they were all in love with Ady and how much she'd grown since I saw then in October. Dr. Karon was just in love and Ady was giving her those big smiles she shows :) She must've known how well she took care of her and her mommy for 9 months.

After the doctor visit, Gramme wanted to take Ady to Build a Bear and make her the "Clarice" reindeer from Rudolph. We dressed her in a polka dot outfit and polka dot shoes. It was so much fun. Ady slept through the entire thing. But don't worry, sweet girl. There are plenty more Build a Bear trips in your future :)

She had too much going on today and by the time she woke up at the mall while Gramme was in Bath and Body Works, she was done. Poor little girl is SUCH a good baby, BUT when she can't get a good nap in she just isn't. I'm learning that she just really requires a lot of sleep.

On Sunday, Ady and Caden got to meet Santa! Ady has the most precious little smiles, but did she flash them for Santa? No. I was trying to get her to smile and she couldn't see me. Just the man ringing bells trying to get her to smile. She was not feeling the bells. So instead of a smile, she just looks confused. However, she resembles her Bampe in this picture so much! She looks like her daddy, Bampe, mommy, cousin Caden, and grandpa Joe at times. She's a woman of many faces!

Our Christmas cards are complete! Should be here by mid next week and in the mail (yikes) by the 18th or so. I just cried and cried as I was creating it. It's really amazing what a difference a year makes.

Christmas is so crazy and busy, but I hope that you know the true meaning of the season. It's very easy to get caught up in the parties, food, gifts, and craziness. But, it's really ALL about a tiny baby that came to SAVE the world.

We love our little Ady and are so looking forward to spending our first Christmas at home as a family, finally complete. We will be in Louisville for the early Christmas Eve service, and then back home in Lexington that afternoon to make cookies for Santa and a birthday cake for Jesus. We're starting new traditions for our family this year. I'll get to sleep in my house on Christmas Eve and wake up knowing that the best gift is already here....it's my precious Ady. A special little girl who was worth the long wait.

ALL praise to the King for the long, long road!

Many times I think about my "story" and how I wish I had someone who had gone through the exact same thing, not the infertility part, but the pain. So, my hope in this post is that if you are struggling with the same thing you will find relief in knowing you are not alone and you are not crazy (as I many times was told).

I guess I should start back to November of 2008. Joseph was out of town and I was in excruciating pain balled up on the floor in the family room. I can still see myself sitting there now. I was crying out in agony and didn't know what was going on. I remember calling my mom and she suggested I make an appointment to be seen the next morning. I went to the doctor and had an ultrasound done. I went to a regular family practice office so I had to get the ultrasound done downstairs and wait for the results. That was the hardest part-waiting. The other hardest part was playing over and over in my head why the tech said what she did to me. I was crying because I was in so much pain and she said, "I know just a little bit longer, I just can't see your ovaries." Well, now I know she shouldn't have said that, but that just scared me even more. It took 3 days for the results to come back that I had a cyst on my ovaries-no big deal. Or so they thought. The pain persisted and didn't go away. What pain you ask? In my lower back. It was the most horrible pain.

I was referred to a gynocologist, Leah Mitchell. She met with me several times and one weekend I called her in tears because nothing was working. She told me to go to the emergency room. You won't believe this, but it's true. In less than an hour, on a cold Saturday in December, we were in and out. I saw a man whom I have nothing nice to say about. He did a urine sample, but didn't check it, he said, "Eh, you're not pregnant" and then proceeded to tell me that all I had was a ruptured disk. Wrote me a prescription and sent me about my merry little way. How did he diagnose me? No clue. Did he do an x-ray? No. Blood work? No. I still cringe when I think about how much that visit cost. I didn't want a Percocet. I wanted to know what was WRONG with me.

I went back to Dr. Mitchell and she strongly encouraged me to have a laporascopy. I was very hesitant, but she, without saying it, said it was the best idea. So, on February 18, 2009 I had a laporascopy. I don't know much about it except that she said she removed endometriosis, and LOTS of it. It took me about a week to heal and she told me children should be no problem. I went to see her 6 weeks later and she told me she was moving to North Carolina. I was so upset, but grateful for her wisdom. My pain had returned by then and she seemed to think it was still recovery pains. I knew my body, however, and I knew something else was wrong.

So, I proceeded to another doctor whom will remain annonymous. This doctor, well I just have nothing kind to say. She told me that "endometriosis doesn't grow back." Well, it does. Then she said, "I have it too and it always shows up on an ultrasound. We just did one and there is nothing on there." I wanted to scream. I had just had an ultrasound 4 months before and nothing but a cyst was there and LOTS of endometriosis that didn't appear in an ultrasound. Then, she told me that I had a condition called IC. It was just a cover up, just to diagnose me with something before I left and tell me that I was fine. I didn't need to worry about children. Right. After a lap you are most prone to pregnancy and it was April, still no baby.

So, in late October after months and months of continual pain, medicine, lots of tears, I decided I wanted to find specialist and have her "take it all out". I came out and told my mom about our struggle and she kept telling me not to give up. I had lived with this "secret" for over a year. It felt good to release it, but it also meant I had to face it. I met Kimberly Bain in late October and loved loved loved her! She said endometriosis most definitely grows back, but she couldn't understand why the pain was so severe. She gave me a different medicine to try but said she'd recommend another lap only if I was up to it. I, again, was just unsure about going under again. I took some time to pray about it. On November 16th, I called her office to see if I could even get in. I didn't want to have to take off a lot from work so I was hoping that there wouldn't be an opening. The woman asked my name and then left the phone for a minute. When she returned she said, "Be here at 6:30 on the 20th." In 4 days, the surgery was scheduled. Like that. I only had to take 3 days off work because the rest of it fell over Thanksgiving Break. Again, God's hand. And I was still up until 6:30 that morning looking for a way out. Hoping for a fever or an insurance malfunction or something. Nothing.

I cried as she put me on the operating table and I remember her telling me, "we're going to get you all figured out sweetheart." I said, "I just want a baby." "I know, we're going to do our best to give you a precious baby." was her response. Whew, I'm crying now as I'm reliving it all-knowing what I do know now. I was in surgery a lot longer than expected. I woke up in recovery, heard a baby crying and said to my mom and Joseph, "I just want to hear that sound." I became aware that she removed endometriosis, and LOTS of it from my body. She took pictures of it and they became very crucial down the road. It's scary to look at actually, at how severe it was. The surgery before that was only 9 months prior. The surgery was a little longer because Dr. Bain said she knew I was in pain and wanted to get to the bottom of it. So, she explored and searched for a long time. I had it growing everywhere. I'll get personal for the sake of hoping to help someone some day: my ovaries (she said) were like cement they were so weighed down with it, all over the front and back of my uterus, my galbladder, bowels, tubes, it was everywhere. The surprise to her was that it was up as high as my rib cage. Always shows up on an ultrasound Dr. Annonymous? I think not. Doesn't grow back? How about in 9 months? I knew something was wrong and I"m so thankful I listened to my gut and my body.

I went back to see her a couple weeks later and she really encouraged me to go ahead and have my children, all of them immediately. She said I had a very aggressive form of it and that although in some women it doesn't grow back, mine was so aggressive she said that it would. She said there was another woman who was very similar to me who she saw. She had all her children one after the other and then she did a hysterectomy on her. I cried to her and told her I just wanted a baby. She told me to be patient and that hopefully after this good "clean out" I'd be able to.

I felt so terrible but in late December, when I still wasn't pregnant, I decided to go see an infertility specialist. I had actually called a man, I forgot his name. But, I found him online. It said he was in infertility specialist in Lexington. I called the office to make an appointment and the woman asked me what the problem was. I briefly explained my story. She said, "I'm so sorry sweetie, but Dr. ____ is not an infertility specialist. You need to go see Dr. Karon. She's the best in town." Hand of Jesus. No doubt. I don't even remember now what this doctor specialized in. But, I'm telling you online it said he was an infertility specialist.

I finally, on December 29, 2009 at 11:35pm let go. I completely let go of MY plans. I wrote that night:

"On December 29, 2009 at 11:35 I am handing this ALL over to You, Lord. Not for a baby, but for Your will. I am surrendering it all to You. I lay it at the foot of the cross. This is not my load to bear. This is my prayer: Job 22: 21-25 'Give in to God, come to terms with Him and everything will turn out just fine. Let Him tell you what do, take His words to heart. Come back to Almight God and He'll rebuild your life. Clean house of everything evil. Relax your grip on your money and abandon your gold-plated luxury. God Almighty will be Your treasure; MORE wealth than you could EVER imagine.' I'm done, controlling, Lord. TAKE OVER"

Please understand that many, many times I prayed God's will, but I had one hand on His will and one hand on MY will. But that night, I can still see me sitting in my closet on the floor crying out and writing it, THAT night, I let go. I wanted a baby, yes. But that night I released having one MY way.

I went to see Dr. Karon on January 7. I took pictures from my surgery to show her, (they spoke louder than any story I could share). She looked at the pictures of my ovaries and said, "Have you ever been tested for PCOS?" I hadn't. I had no other symptoms of it, but she felt very strongly that I did. She started me on medicine for it and told me to call her when my cycle started and we'd schedule an appointment to begin fertility treatments. (I found out a few days later the results came back positive, that I did in fact have PCOS). I cried like a baby to her about how much I wanted to be a mommy. She shared with me her story-she had severe endometriosis and PCOS and had a 9 month old baby. Then she said, and I"ll never forget it: "Honey, you're on the right road. But this condition mixed with endo, it wouldn't have ever happened anyways without our help. So, we'll get you the help you need and hope you'll conceive soon." And I was pregnant when I left and just didn't know.

I cried all night. I cried all day the next day. My birthday was 2 days later. I remember my family came in town and when I went to open the blinds the next morning before they got there, I just fell to my knees and cried. I tried to pull myself together while they were there, but it was hard. As soon as they left, I went back to a fetal position and balled like a baby. I just didn't understand. Yes, I was ready for God's will, but that didn't mean I wouldn't grieve. I was truly grieving. I was truly dealing with the fact it wasn't in the cards for us. Yes, when I left her office on January 7th, I was hurt, but I had to grieve. It had become a reality to hear "it's not possible." Joseph and I had already decided we weren't going to spend lots of money on treatments. We made the decision that we would exhaust all options (medicine, surgery-the 2 laps), but when it got to expensive injections or IVF, we just didn't feel God was leading us there. I had been on such a whirlwind. I had been to tons of doctors, had 2 surgeries and I felt like I was getting nowhere.

An entire week went by. I tried to put my happy face on but it was hard. I still hadn't started my period, but I thought it was because of the new medicine I was on. I felt horrible, just horrible. But, had heard the medicine could be hard on your stomach so that's what I thought it was.

On Sunday, the 17th, we were in Louisville and I was sitting at church when I looked at the bulletin to see what it was about: abortion. The tears just started. I kept thinking, "I can NOT handle this right now." It was the hardest thing I've ever sat through. Images flashed of babies at different weeks. My heart just ached. Joseph held my hand and I kept praying that God would get me through it. I cried but I wanted to do the hard, I can't breathe, kind of cry. I asked God to just hold me right then, and He did. It was awful, but He carried me through. I will never forget Dave Stone looking right at the congregation and saying, "If you're thinking of aborting your baby, don't. There is a room full of women who would give their right arm to have a baby." That was when I just lost it. He said what my heart had been trying to say for a long time. I would've given my right arm, my left arm, both legs, you name it. I just wanted a baby. I cried most of the afternoon, but then on the drive home late that night I had an overwhelming peace. It was the peace that passes all understanding. I can't explain it. I called my mom when we were almost home and she was crying saying she knew how hard that message was and she was still praying. I told her I was okay, that I had a peace (one I couldn't explain).

I had made a mental plan to take a pregnancy test when I got home so that when I called the doctor the next morning I could say, "Look, my period is late, no I'm not pregnant, what's wrong?" Please understand, I took the test so I could have confirmation that I was not pregnant when I called. I NEVER EVER EVER expected or even took it thinking that it would be positive. Understand that I had the faith God COULD give me a child, but that didn't mean he WOULD. So, this test was just proof to me that I wasn't, or so I thought :). I didn't even tell Joseph I was going to. He was unloading the car and I went to the bathroom to use the (ironically) last test I had. The positive shows a lot quicker than the negative :) I looked at it and my eyes were HUGE!!!! I didn't believe it. I was very, very calm. I'm telling you, I had THE peace.

I walked down the hall and told Joseph. He said, "What? How? How do you know?" He was just in shock. I called my mom and told her to go upstairs. I wanted to tell my parents (in my dreams) in a cutesy little way, but it didn't play that way. She was so upset because I was hurting, I couldn't keep it from her. I told her I had to tell her something but I didn't want her around anyone. And then I told her. She said, "What? You're pregnant. Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It's a miracle. Oh my gosh." And she said "oh my gosh" and "It's a miracle" about 100 more times. :) I went to the doctor that next morning just to get a slip for blood work. I had the blood work done and was waiting on a call back that afternoon. About an hour later I got a call, but it wasn't about my blood work. My doctor had just found out and she was calling to congratulate me. She said, "Girl, I am so happy for you! I don't know how that happened. You didn't even need us. " That's right. Because God moves mountains. I just simply answered, "She is a miracle from up above."

There is no explanation. But there is none necessary. When I say, I've seen the healing hand of God, I mean it. I've lived it. I've watched Him place doctor after doctor into my life and I'm thankful that He placed ones who made me think it was all in my head. It just fueled me more to find a reason. He hand picked every person that I encountered and to this day I firmly believe that Dr. Bain worked so hard to remove all that she saw, and then did it again to make sure it was all removed. And that her expertise, along with a lot of Jesus helped Ady come into this world.

I have people tell me often that my blog brings them tears. My hope and prayer has been from the start that someone would come to know Christ by this story and that this would help someone else who may be dealing with the same thing not feel all alone. With God, you are never alone. My faith has never been strengthened more than when I was going through it. I've gone through my prayer journal from last November-December and read each day's posts. I cry at all of them. I couldn't pick a favorite one, but ran across this Tuesday night:

"Let Your grace fall over me and cover me with love and faithfulness. Let this season be a testimony to others of Your faithfulness."

The devotion that day read:

The ability to wait on the Lord stems from being confident and focused on who God is and in what God is doing.

Psalm 62:5-"My soul waits in silence for God only. For my hope is from Him. Trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart before Him."

Psalm 37:7-9 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Isaiah 817-I will wait for the Lord who is hiding His face from the house of Jacob; I will put my trust in Him."

And I did just that: I poured out my heart to Him. I did that everday. And although it seeemed everything was falling apart, I had a peace. He was holding me. He was holding my broken pieces. He was holding my weariness. He was holding my tears. He was holding me, there was no safer or more comforting place to be. It is why I went to Him each day, sometimes I'd journal 4-5 times a day. I was desperately seeking the heart of God. I was desperately asking for Him to hold me together. Some may say it is crazy and strange, but I KNEW He loved me. I KNEW He hurt. So, I went to Him each day and waited in expectation.


I hope you never doubt the instinct God has given you. I had an instinct something was wrong with my body-took me almost 2 years to get to the bottom of it, but I had a feeling.

My prayer to you, readers, is that you would come to know the love and faithfulness that Jesus has to offer. In EVERY season. Your momentary troubles pail in comparison to the eternal glory that we have to receive. Yes, I got my happy ending as some may say. But, really it's just the beginning. THIS story is JUST the beginning. The story that changes lives. The story that brings people to their knees. Not for my glory, but ALL for the King. From the one who formed YOUR heart, from the One who knows exactly how many hairs are on your head. The God who made the entire universe, who holds the world together in the palm of His hands, He is listening. He is waiting for You to surrender your problems, your struggles, your worries. Lay it at His feet. There is no greater peace. No greater place to be than in the middle of one of the storms.

Someone told me while going through this, "Sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes He calms His child." Maybe your storm has not been calmed, maybe you've lost something you can't ever get back. Run to Him. His arms are open wide. And while you're there, know that You rest on the arms of the King, the God who performs miracles. The God who performed one and gave us our precious Ady.

Recapping 3 months.....

I must apologize for being the world's worst blogger. New Year's Resolution: Blog more often!

Where do I start?? Let's go back to my last post. I was on bed rest and about to go crazy. On August 31 I did 9 loads of laundry (I was cleaning things that didn't need to be cleaned). In a day span, I'd vacuumed the main room 7 times. I scrubbed every nook and cranny I could. Yes, I was still on bed rest. But, my blood pressure had really gotten much better that I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, I was hoping to "work" Ady out! On September 1 I baked, cleaned everything I could see (again). I reorganized my freezer, pantry, you name it. I was the epitome of a nester! I had been having contractions off and on for about a week and a half. That night I went to bed in lots of pain, but woke up in none. However, I woke up that morning and I KNEW it was the day. I didn't say anything to anybody, but I just knew it in my heart. I got up and at 8:00 I was watching my favorite show, "Golden Girls" :). I felt a little bit of fluid leak, but didn't know what it was. It wasn't much, but again I had that "feeling", so I got myself up, showered and dressed. As I was drying my hair I was praying and telling God that sometimes I need to be hit upside the head to get the message and I was hoping my water would break. I'd had so many contractions, but they were irregular and I was so afraid I wouldn't know when to go. I stood up from my stool and started to walk into the bedroom to put on my clothes. My water broke EVERYWHERE! It didn't stop, it just kept coming. It happened at 9:23. I called Joseph and he was here in less than 7 minutes. I called my mom and told her to call Tatay! Tatay and Biggie were on the way to Atlanta to a LSU game and Tatay had already mapped where to turn around if I'd called. The last chance for her to turn was in Chattanooga. And guess where they were when mom called? Chattanooga. The Lord's hand was ALL over it! He knew how important it was for Tatay to be there!

My doctor wanted to see me first (we'd had so many false alarms I felt like the boy who cried wolf). But, this time I KNEW it was water, and lots of it coming out! I was 2 cm when I left her office and competely effaced. In the time it took me to walk to the hospital next door (I was stubborn and refused a wheelchair-ha!) I was at 3 cm. They hooked me up about noon, my parents got in from Louisville about then. Then, the problems started. My blood pressure shot through the roof and nothing seemed to bring it down. They'd given me medicine and it did nothing. My greatest fear was having a C-Section (even though I know lots of women do it!). I just didn't want her to enter this world in distress. When nothing else seemed to work, they started my epidural. I was never in any pain. The epidural made my blood pressure go WAY down, too much actually. I turned white as a ghost and was very sick. Luckily, I got to eat a popsicle :) I eventually got much better. Everytime they checked me I was still at 3 cm. We thought it was going to be a long night. By about 7:00 everyone was there, and I, being the people pleaser I am was so upset that they'd driven in because we were confident it'd be 8 or 9 the next morning before she'd come. At 9:00, while watching Big Brother :) (ha! My labor coach, Betsy loved it too and we bonded over it!) I was still at a 3. Betsy told me later that after she checked me then, she told the other nurses if Ady didn't shape up, I'd be having an emergency c section to get her out. At 10:00, I felt like I needed to push. But, I had no constistent contractions. They never went all the way to the top and there was no pattern. I was afraid to tell her I felt like I needed to push because I thought I must be crazy. But, then I felt it again. I told her at 10:10. She checked me and said, "Good girl!!" I asked what that meant and she said, "This baby's ready to be born!" "What am I?" I asked. "You're a 10 and she's coming now! Somebody call the doctor.". Then, after about 3 minutes, she said, "I'm going to have to catch this baby if the doctor doesn't get here!" My family had gone to eat and my mom was frantically calling them. Rachel made it just in time. Tatay sat in a chair and watched her namesake enter this world. My mom was helping me push and poor Joseph's hand almost broke from me squeezing so hard. Again, I was never in any pain, but had to push so hard he was what I'd squeeze. My blood pressure must've gone real low because after the first push I had to put an oxygen mask on. That was the hardest part of labor. Pushing for 10 seconds, inhaling very fast, then pushing again. It was very hard to breathe. Rachel was on the other side of my rubbing my head and helping me push. Ady doesn't know this now, but she brought a lot of healing and restoration to our family in more ways than one. Tatay still says the image of Rachel helping me push and rubbing my head will never leave her mind. I pushed 3 times and at 10:27 Adyline Margaret Bischoff entered this world. My first thought was, "Oh my gosh! She's so tiny!!" And through tears I couldn't believe that my dreams were actually coming true. It was very surreal. As I sat there holding her and watching her, it was then that my faith met my eyes. I realized at that exact moment just how faithful the Lord was. I knew I'd meet her one day, but when my EYES saw hers, well, there are really just no words.

She was cleaned off, weighed and measured, given a shot (and didn't cry)! She weighed 6 lb 4 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long. She was the most bright eyed baby ever. For about 30 minutes everyone passed her around and she just looked at them, didn't make a peep. She smiled at Uncle Austin :) I could just go on and on about her birth. It was miraculous, really. When her cord was cut there was a knot in it. The doctor said it'd been there for a long time because she'd of had to done it when she was small enough to flip aroud and turn it into a knot. And yet, she was perfect. She was 3 weeks early, the product of a mother with PCOS with a 50% miscarriage rate, a knotted umbilical cord, and every doctor that saw her said, "She's perfect". How? Because the hands of Jesus had been on her the entire time.

Our first few days at home were interesting just trying to adjust to life! I had every intention of returning back to work, but I"m telling you, the second they laid her in my arms I just couldn't do it. We are trusting in God to provide for us financially and believe that He will. I am so thankful I made the decision to stay home. While many others judged this decision and gossipped about it, I know that God placed this desire on my heart and He will prevail. In the words of my brother's girlfriend after making this tough decision, "Someone very small will thank you for this one day." I've stuck to that when other people get the best of me. Ady is ALL that matters. Nobody else's opinion, no money, no status, nothing. Just her. And,really it's just money. It will all wither away some day, but the time that I've spent with her will be worth everything else we had to "give up".

I could talk all day about her GER problem, but after 8 LONG weeks and basically no sleep we've discovered the best way to treat her. She takes Prevacid every morning and is on a formula with all the cow's milk proteins removed. She's much better. She still can't be placed flat for several hours after a feeding. We made the decision to not put her on a schedule, but to let her tell us when she wants to eat. After a lot of research and discussion with our doctor we felt it's what was best. She also does not cry herself to sleep. She is too young and with her problem, it only creates more problems. But, she usally goes to sleep in her "baby hammock" as Joseph calls it just fine. She's rocked to sleep and then will sleep in that all night. It balls her up like she likes, so we just didn't see the need in forcing her to sleep in her crib if this was more comfortable. She sleeps on her side and it's just so precious! She falls asleep between 5:30-6:3o and wakes for a bottle around 10 or 11, then at 3 or 4 am, then at 7 or 8 when she's up for the day. The past 2 days she's had her bottle at midnight, then 5 or 6. Not sure if we'll stick to that pattern or not. She's starting to talk a lot, loves to kick, and grab things. She is also teething!!!! Crazy, I know. She's drooling and chewing on things and putting her fist in her mouth :) We just love her and are so thankful that this year we have the precious baby we always dreamed of having! I prayed and asked God to bless us with one baby and He has granted what we've asked. Our desire is to have more children, but with my condition we are unsure of whether or not we'll be able to have another one on our own. It's a tough decision because there's a lot of factors that go into play. But, regardless of the decision we plan to have more-whether they are biological or they're adopted. James 1:27 has been on my heart for a long time: "Look after orphans and widows in distress." I know that God has placed on my heart to adopt at some point. As for now, we are thankful that although the world said "no", God said "yes", and His will was done in Ady. It is a joy to share His work through her.


If you're reading this, know that we give all the praise and glory to God for what He has done. He is the miracle worker. Trust in Him, in EVERY season, and I promise His glory will always prevail!

Psalm 89:1
I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Don't Blink

Oh, look at that precious little face! I am so in love with her already and can't believe I'm almost through with my pregnancy. It has been full of lots of ups and downs, lots of scares, but it's been worth it all. I can't wait to see that precious little girl in my arms!

There's lots to update since my last post. My sweet friend Macy threw a shower for me and Miss Ady in July and we had a wonderful turn out. Lots of people drove in from Louisville and my girl friends came in to shower us with lots of love. It was a GREAT day! Here are some pictures to recap:)

The precious cake Macy and her mom MADE!


Ady's first Cinderella doll :)

Caden trying on one of Ady's bows!

Favors for the shower :)

Joseph's work surprised him with a shower a few weeks ago. He was in complete shock (as was I!). They got us the swing, diaper bag filled with all kinds of necessities, wipes, and the boppy. It was so thoughtful of them:

Grammy is working on the Boppy cover made from the same material as her bedding, and then put her name on it :)

I've gone a little crazy with her hair bows. I think now she has about 50 of them. (I know, I know). But, I found a girl who makes them from Georgia and here are some she made, plus a cute little outfit she threw in there for a surprise :)

Well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news is I've been placed on bed rest since August 13. I had two days with my kids at work and both nights when I came home my feet and ankles were huge! I assumed it was just from being on my feet so much. The second night I decided to go to Kroger and have my blood pressure checked. I checked it three different times over a span of 15 minutes and they were all very high. I called my doctor and she wanted me to go to the hospital. It was still up when I got there and after monitoring for several hours, it finally went down. Then....I started having contractions! We were thinking she might come that night. But, Ady had other plans. All of a sudden they just stopped. She sent me home on strict bed rest and told me not to go to work. I asked if I could do certain things (i.e. go to the grocery, "no", do laundry, clean, "no".) Everything I asked she said "no". Except come see her each week for Non Stress Tests. For those of you who are not exactly sure, I am a VERY Type A personality. I have seirous OCD and like to clean, cook, and go as I please. This was like telling me I was locked up in a prison and my feet and hands were tied up. It's been very hard. I can't understand why anyone would think this is fun. It's not, in case you're wondering. But, I know it's worth it!

Oh, but didn't I say I had good news? She'll be here September 14 if she's not here on her own before then! :) I'm being induced at 6 am that morning. Think I'll sleep the night before? Not a chance.

I've been having a lot of contractions, sometimes intense but they're "false labor". I was having them Wednesday when I was hooked up to the monitor, but they're not doing anything. Which scares me to think what real ones feel like. I'm not trying to be a hero, people-I want the medicine so I can enjoy the process as much as I can!

Her room is complete and to all of you who laughed at my "Plan Ahead Polly" personality back then, I'm so glad I did. I would have been a mess knowing I couldn't get anything done now being on bed rest.

I am trying to enjoy these last few weeks and continue to dream about what she is going to be like. I know that I will miss all these kicks and flips from her. I feel her little toes wiggling in my side all the time and just LOVE it :) She is such a blessing and has shown me just what faith can do. I tear up when I think about the day I get to meet her. I know that I will be so overcome with joy and happiness. She is a true gift and I am honored that God has chosen Joseph and I to be her parents.

"Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow"