Just thankful.

I am VERY happy to report that mommy AND Ady are back to our normal state of health! Much, much better! I took Ady to the doctor Monday morning and she did have some fluid in her lungs, but the doctor wasn't alarmed. He said these viruses start in the nose and then "head south". As long as her fever didn't return a few days after, he said it would just need to run it's course and be over in 10-14 days. I am SO happy to say that in 7 days, she's back to herself.

However, she has NOT been a happy camper the past 2 days. On Monday and Tuesday, I literally held her all day. Even if I put her down to go to the bathroom, she screamed. I'm not so sure that she wasn't having drainage and pain in her ears. Poor thing. She was just not happy. I also think she's experienced her 6 month growth spurt a little early. She didn't want her solids while she was sick, but she downed the milk. Almost double at each feeding. She's still a tiny little lady though :)

I am so thankful that my happy, ever so cheerful Ady is back :) She felt so good that we even went to surprise Aunt Heather at her work today.

Not so sure she's going to want to be a social worker, but she was into her computer and everything else there. (Including spitting in her chair and several times on the carpet-guess she had to leave her "mark" :) Ady is very lucky to have so many people who love her, especially Heather!


Can you believe that this is what Ady looked like a year ago?


I don't remember my life before her! She has brought so much joy and happiness to our lives, more than we ever could have imagined! Last night when Joseph got home from work he kissed her on the cheek and she gave the biggest smile I think I've ever seen her give! :) She sure does love her daddy. I am just thankful. I am thankful for a precious little girl. I am thankful that I was granted the deepest desire of my heart. I can not wait until Ady is old enough to grasp just how wanted she was. I will forever thank Jesus for blessing us far more than we deserved. Just thankful.

A Weekend With The Sickies.

I've been sick before since Ady has been born and it was horrible. I had bronchitis and a sinus infection. I realized that when mommy is sick, nobody is there to take care of her. I thought I had seen it all. Until this weekend. Thursday, Ady started getting congested something awful. (She's been congested since birth and a lot of that is due to reflux, but there are times it gets unbearable). She was having a hard time breathing, sleeping, eating, etc. She's got all that gunk just rolling down her face. Her eyes are watering, it's just awful. I thought it was allergies. Until Friday.

She started running a fever so I called her doctor. He said if she still had one Saturday morning, she needed to be seen. And to top it off, Friday I woke up feeling like death. Luckily, Joseph worked a half day and he took care of Ady so I could go to the doctor. I was diagnosed with an ear infection and an upper respiratory infection. I thought things would be fine by Saturday. But, not so much. We had plans to go to Louisville Friday to celebrate my parent's birthday (that is tomorrow!). We hadn't been home since Christmas. But, there was no going to Louisville on Friday. We learned one of the lessons all parents learn: Expect the Unexpected.

Ady woke up feverless Saturday morning, so we rushed into town and met my parents for lunch to celebrate. Ady was really good and we thought we were in the clear. But, that afternoon she wasn't her happy self and her fever returned. We made plans to take her to her pediatrician first thing Sunday.

I spoke with a nurse this morning and she said since she hadn't had a consistent fever she was okay to wait until tomorrow morning to be seen. I mentioned that I was sick and felt I was getting worse. (My chest started hurting AFTER I left my doctor's office. I think it's turned into "walking pneumonia". Nice.) She was concerned Ady's might have gotten into her lungs. Although most of the time doctors can hear through the stethescope, she knew the x-ray tech wouldn't be there today. Our only other option, if they needed an x ray, would be the ER. We most definitely didn't want that. So...tomorrow morning I'll be taking her. And, in the event there is time in the day, I may return back to my doctor. I started a fever this evening. Sigh....

One thing is for sure, it's no fun when mommy and baby are sick. Mommy takes care of baby, but who takes care of mommy?

The Juggle Act

Well, readers we have news! I really didn't feel the need to see a specialist. I really felt last night (and this morning), that when I heard from the doctor I would do whatever he suggested. So....tada! Ady has gained a POUND in 17 days. BIG jump! After they weighed her, I felt better knowing she had gained.

Her doctor asked me how "difficult" our days were without the 2 doses. I said, "she's fussy." He responded, "Well, but my question is: how difficult are your days? Explain to me what they're like." I said, "She's fussy!" He said, "What you have to realize is that reflux babies are very fussy. What I need for you to tell me is how big of a lifestyle change is it?"

Yikes. Moral of the story: she was given 4 refills for 2 Prevacid's a day. He was okay with her having 2, but said that he wanted me to still try 1 from time to time and see if it's something I can "handle." I didn't say this, but of course I CAN handle it. But, I don't WANT to handle it. And, doesn't that mean she's in pain? Why make her in any more? He basically said that these babies are incredibly fussy a lot of the time. Sigh..... But, there is an increase of upper resperitory infections in babies with increased doses of Prevacid but he agreed with me that the benefits greatly outweighed the risks.

I explained how Joseph had this as an infant but outgrew it around 9 months. I didn't know if it was because he was on all solids or if it was how long it took his body to mature. He told me it was a mixture of both. I also explained the massive amounts of spitting that she still does. He said, "my son had horrible reflux and spit MASSIVE amounts until he was 14 months old. So, some babies just don't stop as soon as they get the solids" Sigh.....

He also said some babies have to remain on 2 doses of Prevacid after 9 months (but not many), but most stay on it UNTIL 9 months. So, he is hopefully Ady will be like her daddy and will outgrow it around 9 months, but is also prepared that it may be longer.

So, what exactly is it that's going to outgrow or mature? At the bottom of the esophagus is the LES (lower esophageal sphinctor). This is the muscle that seals the esophagus. It opens when you burp. It stays sealed so air can travel from your mouth into your lungs. After swallowing, the LES stays sealed to prevent stomach contents from coming back up to the mouth. When the LES fails, stomach acid, partially digested food, and bile can enter the esophagus. This gives a painful, burning sensation. The more fluid entering the esophagus, the greater the pain will be. In GERD babies, their LES does not have the strength to stay sealed properly. Their tiny little stomachs and new digestive systems are producing more gas then normal. This means the burps of Ady's are literally bursting open her esophagus, weakening the LES.

Clear as mud? Poor Ady. It breaks my heart. The past two days while I've fed her breakfast and supper she's screamed during the feedings. I thought she was just super hungry. So, I'd hurry up and feed her through the screams (because she MUST get the solids in), and then pick her up. She'd immediately burp and then be back to her happy self. Her doctor told me today that the Prevacid will not eliminate the arching of her back or painful burps. It's just kind of part of the process of dealing with her issue.

I thanked him for all his help and he said, "I've done nothing! I know how hard it is to have a reflux baby. I have had 2 mothers show up on my doorstep in tears because of their baby's reflux issues. It's not easy at all. But, I can promise you that she will outgrow it."

It was refreshing to hear that it's not anything more serious. The fact that she's gaining on so many solids proves that her LES is just not mature enough. And, hopefully sooner than later, it will be mature enough.

Ady had butternut squash today and loved it! She's eating every last bite of all her food. I was concerned that maybe it was too much, but he actually wants me to add even another solid to her daily feeding. Meaning she'll be getting 2 solids at breakfast, 2 at lunch, 2 at supper, and 1 with her nighttime bottle. She has a similar schedule to a much older baby, but the milk alone was just making her problem worse. Had we kept her on more formula, less (or no) solids, she wouldn't have gained weight. He said she really went way up on the growth chart since our last visit, but since she's so tiny she had room to do so.

We'll reevalute at her 6 month check up on March 10th. I am so grateful for a doctor like Ady has. I am very thankful that she's gaining weight. Ady was such a wanted baby. I hope she never doubts how much she was longed for in our family. She is a miracle, she defied scientific explanation and will always be worth anything that we must go through !

So, if you invite me for lunch and I decline; if you'd like me to come for dinner and I'm hesitant, know that although Ady is better, feeding times are still a struggle. She will sometimes scream at the top of her lungs during her feeding (until the burps come up), and then within minutes be back to her happy self. I have to come to the point where I'm comfortable enough to handle the screams. And right now, I'm not. But, I'm learning!

This entire experience has definitely been a juggling act. I've had to use my mad math skills to figure everything out :) I've learned much patience and much reliance on God. I hope that Joseph and I are blessed with more children of our own, and I know I've said this before, but if the next baby doesn't have reflux, I really don't think I'll know how to "behave"! But, my heart hurts that Ady has had to endure all this pain. I am thankful at how much farther we are than when she was 8 weeks old and I literally wanted to run away from utter exhaustion and a baby that just wouldn't stop screaming all day. We've made HUGE strides!

Oh, and the mark I found? It's a birth mark! But, didn't show up until last week. :)

Thank you, readers, for all your prayers. We are enjoying sharing the ups and downs of Ady's journey with you all. Know that at the end of each day, all that matters is Jesus and the one little miracle He so graciously delivered to us.

Inspector Gadget

I feel that this should be my new name. Over the past 15 days I've kept a detailed log of everything Ady has done. When she's played, when she's napped, when she's eaten, every time she's spit, etc, etc, etc. Actually, should I say I've played Inspector Gadget over the past (let's see she started her reflux issues at 3 weeks...) then it's been 17 weeks. Yikes. What a long time. That's enough to produce these incessent gray hairs that keep growing on my head :)

I wish I could tell you there's a pattern, but, sigh, I can't. One thing I have for sure noticed, though is: on the days she does NOT get 2 doses of Prevacid, she's restless. Not necessarily fussy, but restless. For example: yesterday she got one dose. She slept 20 minutes. ALL DAY. I tried to dance with her, pat her back, rock, walk around the house, (even got desperate and tried Tylenol! Gasp-I know!), nothing, nada. She got fussy in the morning/early afternoon but I don't think it was because of her reflux. I think she was tired. Around 4:00 yesterday she was a mess (partially due to lack of sleep). But, she was arching her back, screaming before she'd burp, etc, etc. Enough to make me just want to plead insanity. I hate it for her. I wish I could figure it out. Then, today struck and I'm stumped again.

If I could pick one day to do over again, it'd be today. No tears, just plain ol happy Ady! She got 4 GREAT naps! 35 minutes on 3 of them and one was a FULL 40 minutes. You can not even beging to imagine how happy this made me! I could tell it even made her feel better to sleep more. She ate every last bite of her cereal and pears this morning, her sweet potatoes and carrots at lunch, and her cereal and bananas at supper. Every last bite! She's going to be a food lover like her mommy! Wait. I'm picky, she's going to be a food lover like her daddy! :)

This morning I gave 3 oz formula with her morning breakfast. She spit very, very little. I thought there was a light! Then, after lunch she spit, and spit, and spit. I thought that was enough. Then, she had dinner. I gave her cereal and bananas. Oh, wait. I said she didn't cry today. She did then. She was STARVING. I couldn't feed her fast enough. When we finished that she couldn't wait for the milk. I usually try to wait a little bit before the bottle to help her digest it, but today she wasn't having it. I gave 3 oz at lunch too, but tonight she had 4 oz. And she wanted more. The only problem. She spit, and spit, and spit, and 2 1/2 hours later, spit, spit, spit. I'm stumped. I try to feed less so she doesn't spit as much and she's starving. I feed enough to (what seems like) fill her tummy and we're spitting fountains!

I'm very much hoping on Monday I'll have an answer. I also noticed today when I was changing her diaper she has a very small brown dot in her "private area". It worried me and Joseph told me I was overreacting. It actually looks like a birth mark, but I know it wasn't there before today. What could it be? Any ideas, mommies? Guess that'll be on the "list" of things to ask Monday. It's a good thing I have a very patient doctor :)

I'm off to play more Inspector Gadget, until I write again!

Intentions

Mothers have good intentions. They want what's best for their child. I have had the best of intentions all along with Ady. I had intentions of returning to my job and when they laid her in my arms, I just couldn't do it. Some saw this as weakness, I saw it as strength. I knew that I would be a better mother to Ady if I stayed home with her. Does that mean those who work aren't as good of mothers? Absolutely not!

I have had Ady's best intentions at heart with dealing with her reflux. POSSIBLE GOOD NEWS: after today I've fed more solids, less formula (which, I know is not ideal, but she's still getting enough nutrition from the formula), and tada! Very, very minimal spit. Did she spit? Of course! But, it's not coming out like a fountain. Perhaps an answer? Well, you all know if this stays on the track we've remained on, tomorrow she'll be spitting like mad. Maybe if I tell you about good news and are prepared for bad to return, it won't?

Ady is SUCH a good eater. So far she's had (and loved): bananas, prunes, peaches, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears. And she eats the ENTIRE jar. The girl is hungry :) We start squash on Monday. Yummo! She's also been okay on just one dose of Prevacid. I'm not sure why she (or nobody else in the house) is not sleeping at nights. Last night's cries didn't "sound" like her normal reflux pain. She has an awful cold and doesn't sleep much (day or night). I know she's got to be exhausted. I don't know what I would do with a baby that took an hour nap. Seriously? I'm lucky to get 30 minutes out of her!

But, nevertheless, she is so precious. When I see her smile I'm reminded of Genesis 50:20. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good..." Why that verse? Every road I've taken thus far has led me to my beautiful blue eyed baby girl. All the turmoil that we endured in the beginning of our marriage; those who wanted us to fail, led me here. All the pain to have Ady, led me here. All the "friends" who no longer kept in touch, led me here. All the nights I spent wondering if I was even worthy to be a mother, led me here. All the people who treated me so poorly for leaving my job, led me here. Today, I can stand strong and say what others meant for harm, God IS using for good.

I can use my story and turn it into something good for the kingdom of God! Today, I am more patient. I am more loving. I am better on no sleep (haha, no not really! But, I'm trying).

So as this Valentine's Day approaches. I guess when it's all said and done, if you, in your heart have good intentions, that's really all that matters. "Man looks at outward apperaance, but the Lord looks at the heart."-1 Samuel 16:7

Happy (early) Valentine's Day from little Ady :)

So I'll Stand

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

A song that brought me more strength than I can ever express into words during our struggle for little Ady. I was reminded of this song this afternoon as I was reminiscing on our very, very difficult first year of marriage. I had just graduated college, just moved from my family and friends, just gotten my first job, just started teaching and had enormous amounts of stress, we had people that caused Joseph and I more hurt than we could ever explain, I started getting very sick and was in lots of pain, and then Joseph lost his job about 3 weeks into our marriage. Our sole reason for moving to this "town" that I didn't want to be in. I went to the backyard when he told me and literally lifted my hands to the sky and said, "I can't do this." I found this song and it became almost my "battle cry" for dealing with the problems in this life.

Joseph and I endured more in the first 6 months of our marriage than many people ever will in a lifetime. And, we made it through. I love him more today than when I married him. He is such a strong man of God and he encourages me in my walk with Christ. He reminds me when I'm being prideful, judgemental, materialistic. He loves me enough to point out the ugliness of my sin so that God can be glorified. Could I have married any better?

Today I am at a stump. I am experiencing the silence of God. But, I know He's there. My FAVORITE quote of all time is this: "Never mistake the silence of God for the absence of God." Jon Weece, the wonderful minister at our church stated this in one of his sermons years ago, and I have never forgotten it. When I was balled up on the floor aching in pain that I couldn't understand, He was there. When I took over 20 negative pregnancy tests, He was there. When I heard "this won't be possible for you without our help", He was there. And today, He's here. But, He's silent.

We have really had a difficult time understanding all that is going on in little Ady's body. She is a VERY healthy baby. She is perfect. She laughs, smiles, has a heart beating, moves her legs and arms just fine. She's not strapped to a hospital bed right now receiving chemo treatments. We're not praying for her lungs to be developed or for a cure to be found. Please know that when I share the struggles with Ady, I know that we have much to be grateful for. But, as a mother, something is still not right.

There's some reason for her spitting a lot after 6 solids a day. There's some reason why she's on double the amount of recommended medication. And I feel that I've sat and followed everything as it's come. But, now I feel that I must take action. And in the next second I feel that I shouldn't. So, I'm listening. I'm (trying to) be still in the presence of God because I truly don't know.

What, you ask? I have had several friends in the medical field share with me their feelings of Ady seeing a GI specialist. Many feel that she should have been seen a long time ago. I called the Pediatric Gastro office yesterday and was told that I needed a referral from Ady's pediatrician to be seen. We go to see him again on Monday. By Monday, I am praying for a lead. Any kind of direction. I don't want to jump to a conclusion, but there is a tugging at my heart that I can't ignore. I pray that if it's the right thing for Ady to be seen, then I will feel a peace about asking her doctor for a referral. I pray that if it's the right thing, her doctor will look at my notes, the amount of medication she's taking, the amount she's still losing, and he'l recommend it. I pray that if it's not the right thing, I will just know.

Ady is gaining weight. I can tell that, no doubt. That is wondeful. Many babies struggle to gain it, so please know that we are grateful. However, I just think there is something wrong going on that's causing her to not be able to hold her food down. How good can that be for your esophagus to "throw up" multiple times after each feeding? And we're not talking "normal" baby spit. It's a lot.

I very much "sit the fence" on this "decision". Joseph 100% wants her to be seen. I don't. And I realized today why I don't. If I take her, then that opens the door for painful tests to be done, maybe even an operation. That scares me. I don't want to cause my child any stress or pain. This is the part of me that wants to control. This is the part of me that must release it the Lord.

I'm going to stand with arms high and my heart abandoned in awe. In awe of a God who performed a miracle in my body so I could have a little girl to hold today.


So, for now, I'm going to be still. I'm going to wait.

The thunder rolls

What did I tell you? EVERY (not some), but EVERY time I say things are getting better, they soon get worse. Ady has had 2 15 mg doses of Prevacid for 10 straight days. I decided yesterday that I wouldn't give her the morning dose, just the evening one. (FYI-a baby is not "supposed" to get more than 15 mg Prevacid (to my understanding), until they weigh 60 lbs, but 15 mg just doesn't seem to be enough for little Ady).

So, I was "brave" and did a day without it. And what was our day like? Just a sample of the journal entries:

9;30 spit massive amounts, spit massive amounts again, spit massive amounts again
11:00 spit massive amounts of breakfast (x3)-the breakfast she had 3 hours prior; very squirmy, fussy, restless, wouldn't sleep
1:00 lunch
2:30-started nap
2:55 screamed out a horrific sounding scream (what we used to hear at night). What is this sound? I assume reflux pain
3:00 up from nap spit MASSIVE amounts. Already gone through 9 bibs since 1:00.
4:00 playing in crib happy and all of a sudden screaming in agony, nothing can console her
4:30 starving because she had spit so much
Very fussy, restless
7:00 tried to put to sleep, screamed for 35 minutes; very fidgety/fussy
9:00 woke up to feed. Burped at every ounce. VERY restless, squirmy, after 1 oz of formula screamed at the top of her lungs and projectiled everywhere (Then stopped screaming).

Are you with me here, people?? This reflux is no walk in the park. So.....what did I do today? Gave her the morning dose of Prevacid! However, she doesn't have enough to last her until we go to the doctor on Monday. I called to see if we could be worked in before Monday and that wasn't possible. Next step, trying to get more medicine. I called and spoke with a nurse. She relayed my message to the doctor. She called me back and he said he would write her for more tablets, but he "really really wanted her to try and just take one dose a day". So, I explained to the woman that we can do that but she is just in agony when I do. She said, "well, I'd hate for you to spend a lot on this and then turn around on Monday and he gives you something different." So...I decided, "gulp", not to take the pills. The nurse said the doctor wanted to see my journal when I came in on Monday. I'm going to do Wednesday, Thursday, Friday without a morning dose so that I have MORE than enough "evidence" that this is just not working for her. I don't know what he'll do from here. Write her for 2 tablets a day? I think so. I think once he "sees" in my notes how much better she is with a stronger (but, "illegal" dose, I know) then he will do it. Maybe there's another medicine? I was told Prevacid was the only drug of it's kind approved for infants. Maybe he'll send her to another doctor. She is still spitting a lot.

This is what our day yesterday looked like. No smiling for photos. She was hurting. My poor, poor baby.


Well, for the next few days the thunder will be rolling. Hopefully we'll get a break in this storm soon. I love Ady, but this has been much harder than I ever could have imagined. Again, so very grateful this morning that I am here with her everyday. If anybody is going to be "putting up" with this, it's her mommy!

If you're reading this, please say a prayer for little Ady. I pray for her body to be healed from this pain and for the doctor(s) to know exactly what to do and wisdom in doing so!

The Packers

In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this post. Don't get me wrong. I don't care who wins. I watch for the commercials. But, my little lady has officially become a "packer". Not of football, but of pounds! I can, without hesitation, say that switching her to solid foods have helped immensely!

Do we still spit? Yes. My current dilemma is deciding how much to give at each feeding. It seems the daily bottle intakes change. It's such an experiment. If I give too little she seems very hungry before it's time to eat next. If I give too much (like I did today at lunch) she's still spitting 4 hours later. And then spits her medicine. Like what happened tonight :(

She is by no means in "reflux pain" anymore. I am going to stop the morning dose of Prevacid and just do one with her supper meal starting Tuesday. I won't see the effect until probably Wednesday or Thursday once it's completely out of her system. So, Wednesday and Thursday I may be back to where I started. I know how much better she's doing on 2 doses, but I want to see if I notice a change with 1. That way, when we go back to the doctor next Monday and I can tell him what I observed. I have kept a very detailed journal of everything that's happened since we went. I have PLENTY of information to give him.

Here are some of the latest pictures of my "little", but not so little anymore, baby:

She loves her dolly

Those legs are growing!

She's getting stronger everyday! Almost able to sit up alone!

She loves her new jammies :)

So, regardless of who wins tonight, I'm happy. Ady is gaining weight (maybe too fast!) Our next goal: work on her tummy time. We've not done much due to her pain and spitting. But, she is incredibly active and I do believe this is the month she'll crawl. Stay tuned. If you blink, you'll miss it!

Bumps in the road.

We've had our fair share of "bumps" in the road since Ady has been born. Just when things get better, it seems they get worse again. I hate to know that she's been in so much pain. It just breaks my heart. She is SUCH a happy baby, but when she has those awful reflux moments it just tears you up. I'm happy to report that she IS better. Last Friday I took her to the doctor and she had been just horrible. She's not having the insane bouts of screaming like she was then (and the first 8 weeks of her life). I assume the two doses of Prevacid ARE helping. The only problem: as soon as she got tonight's dose, she spit it ALL. It might be a tough night. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to plan your day around a baby that needs dosage but that must get it a certain amount of time before a feeding so it does the "job", but yet not too long so they don't spit it? She is and I guess always will be a spitter.

This whole "reflux" experience has definitely been trying on us. I've learned a lot though. I don't know if we'll have more children, but if we do I won't know what to do with a baby that can be placed in a crib and FLAT at any time of the day! Or a baby that doesn't need bibs on all day long. It, again, makes me so grateful I'm here at home with her. Daycare would NOT have worked for her with all her "problems". She would've been too much "work" for them, I do believe. And I would have been worried the whole time being away from her. I know I will never regret the decision to stay home with her. It was the best decision for us. I know I will never regret choosing my time with Ady over my job.



Joseph went out of town this week so Gramme came over to play! I miss seeing my family. We rarely come to Louisville. It's just so much work with our dogs and Ady that we just stay here. So, it was a real treat for us to spend some time together. We did lots of shopping. :)


Ady's spring wardrobe is all set :)



She was so tired and fell asleep. She must be soothed by all the retail :)


Now that she's 5 months old here's a recap of what's going on in the world of Ady:

Her feeding schedule:

Up at 6:30 for the day
7:00 Prevacid (I'm going to try this in the morning. She's been getting it around 10-11, but you have to make sure it's long enough after bottle that she won't spit it, and it's just not working. So, I'm changing time.)
7:30 cereal and a fruit. She loves to eat her bananas :)
8:00 4 oz formula
12:30 cereal and 2 veggies. She loves sweet potatoes/carrots!
12:45(ish) 4 oz formula
4:00 I"m going to start giving her the second dose of Prevacid at this time. This one has been a battle to decide on. Hoping the new time works.
4:30 (ish) cereal 4 oz formula (tomorrow she starts getting a fruit with this meal!)
8:30 71/2 oz formula

Ady doesn't really nap. She gets a GOOD nap in the morning that's 35-40 minutes. After that, not so much. If I'm out and about long enough to "wear her out" she'll sleep and if she's in the car when she wakes during those sleep cycles, she can get herself back to sleep. At home, no. I have to hold her most days. The doctor said last week to hold off on the self soothing. With all the other problems she's having, it's just not the best idea right now.

Her nights have been really, really difficult. Wednesday night she was up at least every hour. I think I was more prone to her noises and unable to sleep even when she was because I didn't want her to wake my mom up. Last night, she was better. I was only up about 6-7 times. At 5:15 I gave her the paci back and dreamed about 2 different things when I heard her cry again. It was only 5:23. In 8 minutes I had 2 dreams. Do you think I'm tired? I am exhausted. But, when do I nap? My baby doesn't! I'm just pooped. Joseph is working all weekend, so.....well guess I'll be pouring the coffee :)

She's having some major pain from her teeth. Her back bottom gums are very swollen. It hurts to look at them. Poor girl. She has had such a tough time.

Ady is in size 2 diapers and is wearing all her 0-3 month clothes. She has the best, sweetest little personality. She loves to squeal and use her hands. Her latest trick is to take her paci out of her mouth and watch it move around :) She loves to hold and snuggle her dolly's close. It's so sweet to watch her.


I can not beleive my baby is 5 months old. It seems just like yesterday she was born. Seems just like yesterday I was waiting for her grand entrance into this world. I could never have imagined all the love, joy, happiness that this little miracle could have brought me. She is a reminder to me everyday of just how great our God is. I am so thankful for this gift that I do not deserve. I pray that I will be the best mother to her and that she will come to know the love of Jesus by the actions and love she sees in our home :)

Unsolved Mysteries.

No, you're not having Deja Vu from the old Lifetime show. It's my life. But, I suppose as the past (5 months tomorrow!) have been, it's just part of being a mommy. Trying to figure it all out. Trial and error. I've kept an explicit diary (per the doctor's orders) of EVERYTHING she's done since we left his office. Sunday and Monday were FANTASTIC. No tears, no arching of back, burps were a success, spitting was little (but "little" to us is probably big to other people!). And then, today struck. Sigh.

Ady started her carrots today for lunch with her sweet potatoes, which she LOVED. :) She actually pushed the sweet potato spoon away from me and just ate all of her carrots. Such a good girl. Not like mommy. Mommy very much dislikes carrots. Good thing Ady doesn't take after mommy in this :)

After lunch, our problems hit. She was very, very fussy, tired, having painful burps and spitting (yet again) a lot of her milk. I'm totally stumped this time. I haven't lowered her Prevacid dose yet. (I'm not brave enough to go back to one 15 mg tablet just yet). I figured she had been doing so well with two doses, why rock the boat? Now, I don't know? The past two days I've held her ALL day long. She's been very fussy and extra snuggly. I think that part may be her teeth. But, today the arching of her back and screaming again? I thought the 30 mg of Prevacid was going to be our saving grace. I guess with her case we can't expect it to perfect everything. Maybe the fussiness is her little tummy getting used to the carrots? Is this the same, mommies, as switching to new formulas? You and I both know we've had the run around with that. That may explain the fussiness, but it wouldn't explain the arching of back. That's the reflux. Sigh. Back to the drawing board. But, when she's not having her reflux moments of pain, she's the happiest little girl on the block :)

On to the next mystery to solve in the life of a mommy. :)