Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look...skip to the final chapter of the book

One year ago today, I had my very first surgery to remove endometriosis. I remember feeling so very scared. I was so uncertain of what was going on at that time in my life. I had endured A LOT of physical pain for about 4 months. I saw 8 doctors, went to the ER and was told everything from "you picked up a kid the wrong way" to "let me refer you to a psychiatrist you can talk to". I had excruciating pain that nobody seemed to understand. Thankfully, I had a great doctor at the time (Dr. Mitchell, who since then has moved to North Carolina to follow her husbands job), who didn't give up on me. She did the surgery with every hope that immediately I would become pregnant and the pain would go away. I know she did everything in her power. Unfortunately, the nature of my condition was far greater than any of us could ever have imagined. In only 9 short months after that surgery, I was back in the hospital for another one. This one-much worse. I found a new doctor (after a few imbetween who repeatedly told me "impossible"), Dr. Bain who I will FOREVER be grateful to. On November 20, 2009 she removed excessive and very aggressive endometriosis from all over. I will never forget her sweet nurse. I went back multiple times because my recovery seemed so much longer and painful than before. The nurse kept saying, "you were a mess in there". It's odd to me that in 9 months time it grew back with such rage. But, I am thankful for doctors who know what they're doing. And that although it was incredibly aggressive there was no scarring, another miracle in the stepping stones of the many miracles we've received over the past year or so.

So, tonight I'm reminscing where I was this time last year. I was scared, in pain, felt like nobody understood. But I can honestly say that Jesus held me through EVERY single second I went through. He saw every tear, heard every prayer. When nobody else knew of our struggle until almost a year (even my mother), He knew. He had a plan. I'm overcome with thankfulness and gratitude at this little blessing.

One of my favorite songs when I was in ADPI was "the Wood Song". Here are the lyrics. This song always has, and now always will bring tears to my eyes. When they place that precious baby in my arms it will have all, in fact, been worth "the rocky ride".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtU1PZaDv1g

"The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear
my friends and I have had a hard time
bruising our brains hard up against change
all the old dogs and the magician
now I see we're in the boat in two by twos
only the heart that we have for a tool we could use
and the very close quarters are hard to get used to
love weighs the hull down with its weight
but the wood is tired and the wood is old
and we'll make it fine if the weather holds
but if the weather holds then we'll have missed the point
that's were i need to go

no way construction of this tricky plan
was built by other than a greater hand
with a love that passes all our understanding
watching closely over the journey
yeah but what it takes to cross the great divide
seems more than all the courage i can muster up inside
but we get to have some answers when we reach the other side
the prize is always worth the rocky ride

but the wood is tired and the wood is old
and we'll make it fine if the weather holds
but if the weather holds then we'll have missed the point
that's where i need to go

sometimes i ask to sneak a closer look
skip to the final chapter of the book
and maybe steer us clear from some of the pain
that it took to get us where we are this far
but the question drowns in its futility
and even i have got to laugh at me
cause no one gets to miss the storm of what will be
just holding on for the ride
the wood is tired the wood is old
and we'll make it fine if the weather holds
but if the weather holds
then we'll have missed the point
that's where i need to go