Learning to let go

Ady has had a rough few days. Although you'd never be able to tell by her pictures. She is a very happy go lucky baby, but our feeding times (and between feeding times) have become battlegrounds again. She's back to screaming out in pain and it's horrible. I talked with her doctor's nurse yesterday after she had spoken with him. She relayed to me that he really wanted us to come in and discuss our "options". "What are our options, I asked?" She didn't know.

So, we went this morning. And I'm so thankful we went. I am beyond thankful for her doctor, one who finally listened and helped. In 9 days she has gained 2.5 oz. She's not losing weight, but not gaining a lot. (An average baby gains about 8 oz in 7 days). She's been getting a LOT of cereal since 4-5 weeks old (I can't exactly remember when it started) and a "normal" baby receiving that many calories would be a true chunker. She's just not.

So we found out several things:

1. Stop the applesauce for now. He said to try it again in a month.

2. Give her Prevacid 2 x a day when this happens. (although it's "not recommended" for her weight/age, she needs it when these escapades happen again.)

3. Everyday give her the Prevacid at night instead of morning should help the insomnia on mommy's end. Having to wake up every 30 min-1 hour. He said no way is it her teeth causing all this pain. She is waking up to extreme acid burning her esophagus. (Breaks my heart to hear it like that).

4. When she needs that extra Prevacid dose, give it in the morning/lunchtime.

5. SOLIDS, SOLIDS, SOLIDS. He wants her on 6 solids per day within a week. THIS is why I love this doctor. It doesn't matter that she's almost 5 months old. She can't be compared to what a "textbook" says it "right". You have to take each baby and determine what's best for their situation.

6. Unfortunately "most" GER babies outgrow this much sooner than Ady and don't need medicine. She has a very severe case of it. :(

7. Her cereal she eats by a spoon must be much thicker than "normal" baby's cereal due to her problems.

8. She likes sweet potatoes, so he says "give her those EVERYDAY just so we make sure she's getting solids we know she'll take".

9. He wants to see her back in 2 weeks to reevaluate her weight, the issues, and determine where we go from there.

The "harsh reality" is that she has a pretty rough case. Meaning, she can't be compared to another baby with reflux. Guess what? ALL babies have "reflux". However, all babies do not have these issues like Ady does.

The other harsh reality is that I can't control it. There's nothing I can do but release it to the Lord. It's hard to watch her go through this, to see that she's not gaining a lot of weight. Yes, it's enough to get by. But, the hamper is full (after 24 hours). FULL. I remember the doctor that initially suggested putting cereal in her bottle said "she'll get chunky"! With all she's had, she's by no means what I would call "chunky". It just reiterates that she is not holding a lot of down. Enough to manage, yes. But, still not much. I had spoken too soon when I said it was getting better. It appears it's getting worse.

But, we're on the road for an answer now. Her doctor really feels that once we get through this "bump" over the next week or so of her finally getting 6 full solids, she'll be so much better. Let's hope.

As for now, I'm going to let go and let God hold His little princess in His arms. He knows what He's doing. She's been a part of His plan. He has used her story of coming into this world to bring Him glory and people to their knees. We can only trust that the same will happen and all we will see from now on is healing to the erosion of her esophagus. And that the spitting, pain, and restlessness will be restored!

I think this sums it up: "If we are going to teach our children to one day trust God with their lives, we must begin by trusting God with their lives."-Joel Strahan