Learning as we go

I remember when I went to the hospital when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I had a terrible cough and (as strange as it sounds), when I coughed my back went out. It was excruciating pain. While I knew that it wouldn't have effected Ady at all, I cried for an ultrasound for the doctor to just check on her. She called her "critter" because at that time we didn't know there was an Ady in my tummy! I will never forget her saying, "This is just the beginning! You will worry about her every single day until you take your last breath." And she's right.

I thought it was the pregnancy. I was worried about every cramp, feeling, you name it. Dr. Karon got a big kick out of me. We became very good friends :) I talked to her a LOT. She'd say, "You are going to be just fine and have the most beautiful baby ever." Maybe it's the fact I never thought I'd have a baby, or maybe it's my genes. Actually, I know it's my genes. I come from a long line of worriers. Needless to say, I worried about her in the womb and I worry about her even more now that she's here. Is it a cold or is it more? Is she warm from too many clothes or a fever? Is that an ear infection? Does she have a bubble? I suppose this just goes with the territory of being a mommy :)

Now I am doing what the doctor told me to do 4 weeks ago. Teach Ady to self soothe. I have not and never have been okay with "crying it out". But, there is a line. The doctor taught me how to appropriately teach her to self soothe. Let her cry 5 minutes, then come in the room rub her back, give her the paci, talk to her, step slowly away from the crib. Then wait 5 more minutes, do the same thing. It's hard. Very, very hard. But, I know that she needs to learn that she can't just sleep on me all the time. I don't want to create a monster and not let anyone babysit her because she just wants to be with mommy all the time! It's too soon to say there's any improvement. But, last night she woke at 4:30 for a bottle (8 1/2 hours-go Ady!!) and laid her down, although she didn't go to sleep. She's been doing this and I'll usually stay up with her and start my day then. Last night I fell back asleep. And at 6:40 I woke up to Ady still asleep. Which means, tada! She got herself to sleep. But, our naps are a little harder. One time today while practicing the "5 minutes" rule I thought the cry sounded a little different. I picked her up and she had a bubble. Sometimes after she takes her medicine she'll get them. So, I made a mental note that whenever I give her the medicine to watch for her to get a bubble. She eventually got herself to sleep and has been asleep for an hour and 20 minutes so far.

Do you know how valuable an hour and 20 minutes is? I haven't put this little girl down since birth! I couldn't wash, cook, clean, do a thing. Now, I can. Believe me, I know the dishes can wait. The clothes can wait, but my time with her won't. I am not giving up snuggling her and loving my sweet baby. But, I feel that the time has come to let her "spread her wings and fly".

Parenting is the hardest job. Ever. Hands down. This is just the tip of the iceburg. Next it's skinned knees, then broken hearts, and as a mommy it's hard to watch your baby suffer, but know it's best for them to learn. I have a glimpse of understanding what God feels when He allows something bad to happen in our lives and we cry, but He knows it's best for us in the end. As I stood outside our door as she was sleeping I was reminding myself of that-through tears. That, He, the God who holds the world in place, understands.

On another note, Ady met her boyfriend Owen last week. Here's some pictures to recap the "experience":
Ady is growing each day. Look at what happens when I turn my head:

We're headed to Nashville to visit my dad's side of the family and celebrate Christmas with them. We can't wait to introduce Ady to all of them and see everyone!

We are ready for Christmas time with our precious little gift, one we never dreamed we would have to hold one day! This Christmas, there is a special stocking where there once was a void: