Just thankful.

 

 Two weeks ago we had an ultrasound that was considered the "big" one. Every organ, bone, possible defect, etc was to be checked. Mr. Henry was just too content with relaxing that we couldn't get a very good clear shot of his face as well as ruling out everything. One of the greatest things that was unable to be ruled out were all the chambers of his heart. There was no reason for concern at all, but as the ultrasound tech said, she couldn't say everything was fine until it had been checked. So today we got our bonus ultrasound :) 

She had told me to drink and eat before. I chugged, and I mean, chugged a large iced coffee and ate before it. What was he doing? Snoozing. With Ady I could drink or eat anything caffeinated or not and she'd be bouncing all over the screen. Not so much with Henry. He's going to be laid back I think, just like his daddy. His position today was easier for her to see everything though. She checked for many things and at the end just simply said, "Well...he's just perfect!". I could have cried tears of joy. There are so many things that could have been wrong. Not that I was worrying, but it is music to my ears to hear that our son is healthy and growing. It is a gift that we most certainly do not take lightly. I urge you, if you've never read my post on how we got to where we are today to go here: 

http://1littlemiracle.blogspot.com/2012/04/overjoyed.html

Here are some pictures of my sweet boy from today. LOVE this first one-he's smiling and sticking his tongue out. Looks like he'll be a character, just like his sister :) The second one-I see Joseph. :) And the third one looks absolutely identical to a picture taken while I was pregnant with Ady. Same profile, same position, same pose. Identical. So, we know he'll be cute :) :)

I may be 6 months pregnant, but I still sometimes am in denial. Ady was a miracle. There is no doubt. With Henry, I'm still just floored. I know God can do anything. But twice? Two miracles? Why me? I had no odds. Nothing. Only one quote workable side that was considered quote unusable. All I can say is God is Sovereign. He deserves this praise. I am often asked how many more children we intend to have. (On a side note: I dislike this question almost as much as "So, when are you going to have another?") Maybe it's my sensitivity to this whole conception process, but I don't know how to answer people. I want a house full of children. I intend, as I have as long as the Lord allowed me to feel the desire to be a mother (from probably 5 or 6 years old), to adopt children over the world. There is a burning deep passion that I have for reaching lost children. James 1:27 has always been one of my favorite Scriptures: "....Look after orphans in their distress". It has often been the battle-cry of my heart. I am thankful that the Lord blessed me with a husband who shares in this. He may not have the desire deep like I do, but he is in support of it. This is something that we will pursue many, many years down the road. But just so you know, I'm not finished growing my family just yet. :) God has big, big plans in store for us. 

I love being pregnant. I love feeling the kicks and jabs to remind me just how wonderful life is. Just how blessed I really am. I really want time to slow down. I've mentioned this before, but this will probably be our last biological child. While I know God has done more than I could've ever hoped for or imagined, I also know the reality of my health and the fact that the clock is ticking. And I am thankful, just so thankful that I once again get to experience this. I hope someday Henry and Ady will read this blog and know the deepest part of my heart beats for them and that pray each day that they will know just how much they are loved. 

Ady is growing with each passing blink. She is very vocal and mimmicks each thing we do. She puts words together for sentences, is counting from 1-10 (this teacher is proud!), knows all her colors, and can count her ABC's. I am so grateful for the time I have been able to invest into her life. (And having that degree in education and some years of experience with Kindergarten and 1st grade have surely helped). I also have a very willing student to teach :) 

It is no secret that I love, more like adore, the sun. I know just about every member of our neighborhood pool because I was there everyday for about 8 hours (no joke), the entire time I was pregnant with Ady. I spent most of that insanely hot summer in the pool. And with a cute little pregnant belly you can make all kinds of friends :) The people there have watched her grow over the last almost 2 years and as you can imagine, they love her. She is at such a fun age. She is absolutely fearless of the water (and I guess she didn't really have a choice-she went with mommy every day in utero!). 

This week I decided to see if she would jump in to me. I thought she might be scared, but I was wrong. Look at my little fish:

She is so brave and brings my heart so much joy. I suspect that by the end of our family vacation in August, she will be close to, if not fully, swimming solo. Tatay is going to teach her :) 

Ady is virtually impossible to hold in the water. She watches the big kids and wants to do what they do. I'm happy at this independence and strong will, but the momma in me is scared and always on guard. I can't, not even for 1 second, turn my head. B-U-S-Y. 

Thank you, my sweet readers, for reading about our lives. I am thankful to those of you whom I can call friend. I love the story that is being written for our lives, although it has not been without suffering. I am so eager to hold my precious little Henry in my arms and my sweet Ady in the other arm, and just be still and know. Be still and know....that He IS God.

Investing.

 

Life is moving so fast. I just can't believe how much Ady is growing and how stinkin' smart she is (I know, I know, every parent says this....). I'm amazed each day at how much she picks up on (and a little leery-yikes! Making sure every word and expression I say and make is "Ady appropriate"). I notice it in the little things. Like when I tell (more like yell....) at the dogs to jump down from trying to get her food off the table. Well....now Ady yells at them too. She mimmicks and copies each thing we do. But there's one thing I don't ever, ever want her to stop. And that's praying. 

I am humbled by the child-like faith that I see displayed in her. It doesn't matter how many toys she has in her hands (and believe me, she can hold plenty of Sesame Street characters), she will still find a way to fold her hands over them when we tell her it's time to say our prayer. She will even wait until we pray before eating. How precious is that? There are times I'm still trying to get everything on the table but she is sitting there with her plate, and she just sits and waits. Please don't think highly of this. It's just something I've always done. Praying before meals was our second nature growing up. It was a home where Jesus was very, very prevalent.  I don't remember eating a meal and not praying before it with my family. So, naturally, when Joseph and I got married we started the "tradition", and when Ady joined us she just picked right up along. 

I am working so hard on investing as much time in her spiritually because I already see how she is watching. When she looks in her Bible story, she always tries to find the pictures of Jesus on it. Why? Because she knows He made her. She knows every night before she goes to bed when Joseph reminds her that mommy and daddy and Jesus love her so much. She knows He made her absolutely perfect and blameless in His sight. And everyday I pray over her precious little body that she will make the decision to seek Him. I told her just the other day that I couldn't wait to see what He would do through her. I started counting her toes and fingers with her while she just giggled. Then we went and pointed to her eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. I explained to her that our purpose in life is to glorify Him; to use our hands and feet for Him. She sweetly said, "mmm...hmmm..." I know she doesn't get it yet, but I'm still going to tell her.

I decided a couple weeks ago I was going to start getting her to memorize Scriptures. The Bible clearly commands that we are to study His word and know it. One of my favorite verses is Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." I don't want Ady to merely be a fan of Jesus, I want her to be a follower of Jesus. I really didn't know how it would go. I started with Matthew 28:20 that says "I am with you always". She would repeat it after me every time we would sit at the table for our meals. I went 3 or 4 days without saying anything. Things had been a little wild and we had been out of town. When I told her we were going to practice her verse I was absolutely floored when she began quoting it herself:

 

I am truly in the middle of the season of: "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Tonight while she was getting a bath, I started a new one: "Be kind to one another"-Ephesians 4:32. It was so sweet hearing her say it. I hope when she goes to Preschool she can quote verses to her friends. I hope that when she is scared when she is away from me as she grows she will remember the very first one she ever learned; that God is with her always. I hope that when the pressures of this world fall on her shoulders, she will be reminded of multiple accounts in Scripture when He tells us to trust in Him and not to look to the world. 

My mom has always told me that I would never understand her love for me until I had a child. And that the decisions her and my dad stood by (that were never, ever popular), would one day be understood. Boy, was she right. (Moms are always right!). I see this so much today. I just want to keep her in this little bubble forever. I watch the world around me so filled with sin, so filled with material desires, so filled with lust and hatred, so filled with the desire to "live for the moment", and I want her to be different. I want her life to stand out. And I know we will not be popular. We will not support many things that parents will allow or support, but it is not our job to do that. We are to teach her and train her. I have already made so many mistakes, but I am fervently praying that Joseph and I will be equipped with the wisdom, discernment, and knowledge to handle the years ahead. And praying, too, that time would just slow down. 

In other news---I get to see little Henry tomorrow on ultrasound and see how much he has grown, especially from our last ultrasound!! 

This is the BIG one. They will look at every organ and see how everything is functioning. I can still remember just being in awe when she showed me everything on Ady. Praying for a healthy and strong little boy tomorrow. :) I still smile (and sometimes tear up), when I feel those kicks. Which, are often. He is very, very active and I love it. However, I am still in amazement. Still in awe that it is real. Ady talks about him all the time. Our lives are about to change (once again) forever, and I can't wait. The Lord has been so good to us. I do not deserve the abundance of blessings, but am so grateful for them.

In honor of Father's Day, let me just say-I hope Henry is just like Joseph. He is such a sweet and caring and compassionate person. I really don't know anyone else who could have loved me and stayed by me during some of the darkest times I've ever gone through. He is a wonderful, wonderful husband. And his love for Jesus has grown by leaps and bounds since we got married. I have watched him lead our family and watched how he loves and adores Ady (and how much she adores him!) 

 

So, for all those daddy's out there-Happy Father's Day! :) 

Thanks for following our blog. I don't get to blog nearly as often as I'd like. Ady keeps me so busy and on my toes, but I will miss this one day. I heard someone say the other day that our marriages and families are defined and written by the ordinary day to day moments, not the big ones. So true. Love this little family of mine :) 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. Col 3:16

Molly.

Twelve years ago we blindfolded our parents and took them to the humane shelter. We just knew they would want to get us a dog. Ha. Upon arrival I fell in love with a dog named Olivia, who was a Dalmatian. The rest of the clan found a dog named "Six". She couldn't have been more than 6 weeks old. I can vividly remember my dad and I sitting in the corner, in all honesty, pouting because we didn't want her. But majority ruled. And the ones who didn't want her to begin with became the ones whose hearts melted faster than expected.

She was a good puppy. A sweet heart. She was lively and loved to jump on you. I can remember every time I would wash my car while I was in high school she would go absolutely ballistic over the garden hose. Out of happiness, not fear. She loved it. She was full of so much life and had a spirit about her that just radiated. Everyone loved Molly. Our house was the Friday night hang out place after many ball games and Molly always greeted them all with a smile and wagging her tail. She rarely ever barked. That was until 2003.



A little boy named Caden came into this world and she began barking at anyone who would dare come in our home. She'd warm up, but she was so protective of him. She was a mother. We always said she was robbed of her chance at being one. Every year at Easter she got a yellow little chick that chirped. She would nestle them and hold them as they were her own. I don't think any dog would be a better mommy than her.

When I'd come home from college I would have to call my parents as I pulled on our street. Molly got a little "excited" whenever she would see me. So in lieu of cleaning up pee pee stains inside, she met me out front. :) She'd whimper and whine and I loved every second of it. She was my girl, for sure.

She was so sweet. But she surpassed the level of "dog" in 2004. I was home from college on fall break. We had gone to a football game and eaten dinner at CiCi's. (to this day I will still not eat there). It was a late night. My mother, as most of you know, is a diabetic and has been one for her entire life. That night I fell asleep in my room in the basement. My dad was watching tv on the couch down there and fell asleep too. My mom remembers sometime shortly after midnight checking her insulin pump. She tells that she was so tired she wasn't doing it right. She had taken too much and with eating out so late that night, she couldn't get it regulated. She was just so so so tired. And that's the night Molly became a hero. What she did was nothing short of miraculous. And for anyone reading this who doesn't think dogs are capable of love, compassion, and human abilities. I urge you to read on.

She came down to the basement door and barked persistently until my dad woke up downstairs and alerted him to come upstairs. She didn't just bark a few times, she barked hundreds. She would not leave until he woke up and she could show him what he needed to see. My dad woke me up in a panic. I flew up two flights of stairs and the image I saw literally took my breath away. There she was, my mother, completely passed out and unconscious covered in her own vomit. I was not much of a help. I began vomiting myself in the bathroom next door. I was crying and overcome. You're not supposed to find your mother like that. I can remember waking my brother up and having him help my dad. I can still see me on the bathroom floor on my knees praying. I didn't know what to do, but I did all I knew how at that moment. I prayed for a miracle. And we got just that.

When EMS arrived she was still incoherent. She had been given massive amounts of sugar to raise her levels and after much avail, once in the hospital, she woke up. The doctor's made it clear her body was beginning to shut down and had Molly stopped barking and allowed us to continue sleeping, she would not be here today. She was not a dog. She was a hero and there are people in this world whose hearts won't amount to half of what Molly had. That night she became a hero and anything Molly wanted was allowed. She had saved my mother's life.



Over the years the jumps and excitement from her seemed to dwindle. She got arthritis and it was much harder for her to move around. But she still had that precious little spunk. She always smiled. And anytime you'd walk in the door she'd wag that bushy tail. She loved back rubs and anyone who would dote over her and make her feel like the queen that she so was.




The last month or so she took a turn for the worst as we noticed her spending hours on end outside and not coming in, not even being convinced to come in with a leash or a treat. Her last week she had stopped eating. My parents took her in for a check up expecting the worse. The vet said she had lost almost 20 pounds but most of it was muscle. She was going to have to do a lot of therapy, but she said as long as her blood work came back she would be ok. And then the next day happened.

I had actually forgotten all about it. I was so happy the night before that it just seemed like it was the arthritis. I saw my dad was calling me around 3:00 on Thursday. Ady and I were in the backyard playing in the sun. It was the most beautiful day. And then, the darkness loomed in. I didn't think of Molly, but I had a feeling it wasn't good. He said "have you talked to mom in the last few minutes? Molly's not doing well." And then I knew. "...Her levels came back and it appears she has an untreatable liver cancer". The tears started and didn't stop. "....she recommends an ultrasound". As we hung up nothing was said about time or next steps, but I immediately called Joseph in tears and told him we needed to go. I just felt it. I needed to see her. I knew she hadn't been good that day, but I wasn't exactly sure what had happened. Later on, my dad told me that she had been in the bathroom all day laying on the floor, once again refusing to eat, even to drink water. They had tried popsicles too. He lifted her up to put her in the car, she was just so weak she couldn't get up herself. And he said she yelped and cried in so much pain. I didn't realize it was that bad. It happened so very fast. 

Joseph got home early from work and at 5:15 we pulled out of Lexington. I cried the entire way. It just wasn't fair. Not for Molly. She did not deserve this. My mom had texted me and said they were taking her to a Vet Specialist Hospital. At that moment, I didn't really understand why. I didn't realize she was as bad as she was. But, I said we'd meet them there.At 6:15 I pulled in. Molly was back with the doctor. Then, the world came crashing down. And I mean literally.

We were escorted back by a nurse and I knew it couldn't be good by the look on her face. Joseph stayed in the waiting room with Ady and Caden. I was glad they weren't with me. I walked in to find Molly laying flat on her back, with ultrasound gel all over her bottom half. She was still smiling that sweet smile. The vet said "it's not good news." and I burst into tears. I seriously don't think I have ever, ever cried so hard in all my life. It was the ugly, I can't-breathe-my-eyelids-are-swollen-for-2-days-kind of cry. He showed us that she had pancreatitis, which that alone could kill her, but then he showed us several cancer tumors that were the size of baseballs. It had originated in her liver and was spreading fast. I suddenly felt sick at my stomach. I was sobbing, but I needed to sit down. I felt like I was going to pass out. I found a bench behind me and through tears I said, "She's not a dog. She saved my mother's life. She is our family." He knew the story. My dad had told him upon their arrival.

She was in so much pain. He gave us our options. We could stop her from the pain. Or we could hospitalize her and give her the amount of pain medicine she needed to cope, it was too severe to be done on an outpatient basis. Through pain, my parents knew the only reasonable answer. He said it was the best gift we could give her. We owe her everything, so if in doing so would bring her peace and keep her free from pain then we were doing the right thing. But it was not easy. I have never cried so hard. My heart literally ached.

They brought us into a private room and let us have as much time as we needed to say goodbye. She was brought in and laid on a blanket. She licked my face and smiled like she always did. She wagged her tail. She was unusually chipper and happy, just looking around and smiling. She knew she was in good company. We sat for almost 2 hours and just laughed and cried. Laughing through tears, the best emotion. Remembering the sweet moments of Molly and the joy and happiness she brought to us. Austin was working, but his boss let him get off early and he came. Rachel was the last to arrive, and Molly knew. She gave this presence that said "all is ok now". She knew we were all there. From that moment on she didn't lift her head up again. She knew.

It was one of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced and one of the saddest. It was most definitely a bonding experience as all of us sat around her, on the floor, just trying to savor our last few moments with her. I kept thinking "I just wish she could have met Henry." Ady loves Molly, "Moll Moll", and her memory will be kept alive. Ady will always remember her. She loved her so much. I just with he could have gotten that privilege. 

My dad wanted to pray as a family one more time with her. And that's when it hit me. Not that she would be gone, but the impact she had left. I have never seen my father cry. But that is not what he did. He sobbed. At moments, uncontrollably. There is something about seeing your father cry that just does something to you. And it wasn't just him. Austin did too. And Joseph. He didn't even know Molly in her "prime", yet he loved her as if he had known her his whole life. Sitting in a room of all grown adults, wailing and sobbing, it just does something to you. She was so special.

 

My dad said that it was time, although I know it must have pained him to say it, someone had to. So the vet walked in. I didn't want to be in there. I just didn't think I could handle it. My mom, dad, and Austin wanted to be in there with her. The rest of us walked right outside the door outside and tried to just make sense of all that happened. A few minutes later my dad was the first one to walk out and sobbing he said, "She was so peaceful." The vet had told us earlier when it was just my mom, dad, and I in the ultrasound room what it would be like if we chose to stop her from this pain. He said several things that would be normal to see them do, such as licking their lips, looking around, etc.etc. Molly didn't do any of it. The first thing they gave her was sedation to relax her. My mom said she watched her eyes kind of roll and relax. Then he told them when he was putting in the anesthesia. She said she has never been at more peace. In seconds, he said to them "She's gone." In a way that brought us peace to know that had we not chosen to "stop", she wouldn't have lasted much longer. Her days were numbered and she was in so much pain. She knew we had all gathered to say goodbye to her and she was ready. My parents thanked the vet for being so compassionate, understanding, and never once rushing us. He said, "She was worth it." See, he knew too.

We made it home to my parents and it was just a real eerie feeling. Really sad. I love my boys, Chance and Charlie. And don't misunderstand me, if something like that were to happen to them I would mourn. But Molly, she is on a different level. She exuberated such zest for life and such passion for people. We got her at such a critical point of our childhood that she really was the 4th sibling, or the second mother. There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled by another family pet. She was it. She was as good as it got. My heart hurts. It still does. It's been 2 days and the pain is still so raw. It's difficult for me to talk about it. It was so painful seeing her lay there, as happy as she was, those last few moments. I guess it was just knowing what was about to happen. But I know she knew. 

This has been hard on all of us, you can't even begin to imagine how painful the last 2 days have been. I have moments when I still just sob. It's been exceptionally difficult on my mother. She said, "I owe her my life. And I couldn't even save her." But that was just Molly. She wasn't a complainer. She never even let us know that she was sick until it was just too late. I took this picture and it breaks my heart:

 

Molly loved all of us, but she loved my mom the most. So much that she did whatever she could to keep her alive.

I will miss walking in the door and seeing her wag her tail. I will miss her running out to the yard before we pull out of the driveway and smiling at us. I will miss her laying in the snow in the dead of winter so peacefully. I will miss her laying on the bathroom floor when I walk in in the mornings to brush my teeth. I will miss her at Christmas.






I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life. Molly was there for my greatest moments of joy and for my greatest moments of sadness. I can remember in high school, when I ached and hurt so badly over the loss of someone so special to me; I remember clinging to her. Actually, she ran to me first. She felt my emotion. She was truly the world's greatest dog. 

You see, if you don't get it by now, you won't. Molly was the closest thing to an angel that I do believe I've seen this side of Heaven. I had a few people I told about her in her last few hours. Not everyone gets "dog love", and that makes me sad. But one of my dearest friends said to me "Smoother that sweet girl with your kisses as she goes to sleep. She will never feel so much peace as she will when you do that". A part of me regrets not being in there with her. But knowing how she went makes me at peace. We got some sweet time with her. I was just unable to contain myself and my emotions that I wasn't sure I (or Henry!) could/should witness it.

I can't imagine God not allowing dog lovers to have dogs in Heaven, or an avid bird lover to have birds, or a fisherman to not have fish there. He created them. "All creatures great and small." Maybe you think I'm crazy for thinking this, but I do believe we will see her again. She did more with her short time on this earth than most "people" do in a lifetime. Molly taught me so much, so much. 

She taught me to love people unconditionally, even when they hurt you. She taught me to always greet everyone with a smile, she taught me to never give up on anyone, but more than anything she taught me to love a deep, deep love. It hurts to let go when you love that deep.

Love you Molly. You sweet angel girl. 

My dad took a video of her in her last few minutes. SO precious. Please click on the link and watch it. Cancer may have gotten her, but her memory will live on forever. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK6_7zBkvfM

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
    -Roger Caras

And the winner is.....

 BOY! 

 

Oh. My. Goodness. A boy! I am still on cloud 9. I seriously can't believe I'm having a boy! Many people thought I needed another girl (probably out of fear for how I would dress him-haha), but I wanted a boy. I would have been over the moon with a girl, but I really, really wanted one :)

I am SO thankful to my girlfriends for convincing me not to find out until the party. It was such a wonderful surprise and I promise you my reaction wouldn't have been the same if I had known :)

 

 It still makes me tear up when I watch this video :

 

Heather did a great job of making everything perfect and not spilling the beans either. We had our ultrasound tech put the picture in an envelope and then we met her to give it to her. It was the longest 15 minutes of my life knowing I could have opened it, but I stayed strong (even stronger than I thought I had in me!) :)

We had a great party, you know how I love to host :) And lots of yummy food. As well as polka dots everywhere! :) 

 

 

 

 

We're going to name our son Henry James. Joseph's middle name is Henry and James is the name of my grandfather (Biggie), who has such a special place in my heart that words could never express. Plus, if you could here how sweetly Ady says Henry it would surely melt your heart into a thousand little pieces. (The Henry that is also in her belly, mommy's, daddy's, Gaga's, and anyone else's for that matter-haha!)

 

It was a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. Joseph now has a boy to "be a boy" with and I will have a sweet little one to melt momma's heart. It's perfect, just perfect. And Caden gets to teach him all about being a boy. I think he hung the moon, you know :)

 

Before the party Ady even went to the right color balloons :) 

 

That Gaga loves her Ady so much that she made sure she got some extra attention on Sunday :) 

 

I feel like someone should pinch me to make sure I'm not dreaming, but all I can say is God is good. So good. I am so undeserving, but so thankful. Never in a million years did I imagine conceiving the first time, especially not the second. And to get to experience both genders is really the experience of a lifetime.

 

Thank you, friends for loving me through the years and sticking by me. To my sweet girls who "do life with me" I am so thankful for your friendship and for putting up with many tears from me through the years and sticking right by my side. I truly have the greatest handful of friends in this lifetime. And to my family who always makes an effort to come to our parties, I am so thankful. Thank you for making it one of the best days of my life. I will never, ever forget it.

  3 years ago, there'd never be a baby. 6 months ago, there'd never be a number 2. But by the grace of God, our family is not done growing. I am still very overcome by emotions and tears, but all I can really say is to God be the glory for ALL He has done.

 

Don't ever, ever, ever, believe everything a doctor says. :)

Not Quite the Vacation....

 

It's no secret that I love the sun. Since I was 5 months old I've been going to the beach. And my love really never stopped. Every summer I can be found by the pool for countless hours. I used to read on average 20 books a summer. That, my friends, has changed. However, thank the Lord I have a baby who loves outside as much as me :)

We took our first ever family of 3 trip to the beach by ourselves last week. Don't worry, this was Ady's third trip to the beach. But, the first time Joseph and I have ever taken her just ourselves. It was quite interesting :)

Ady had not been herself for several days before we left. I thought initially she had an upset stomach, then maybe teeth, and then when she had screaming fits when I'd hand her the juice she had asked for and then hold her mouth, I knew something was up. I took her in the day before we left. The dr swabbed her for strep and it came back negative. She told us to just monitor her while we were gone, but more than likely it was just a virus.

My bright idea to leave at 4 AM so Ady could sleep a good amount in the car ended up being a disaster. She did not fall back asleep. Instead, it made her more mad that she was awake. Let me reiterate the fact that I do believe I have one of the happiest babies ever. She has the greatest personality. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that from 4AM Saturday morning until our car pulled in to South Carolina early that afternoon, 75% of the time she was screaming at the top of her lungs. And she slept 45 minutes total. From 4AM. Sheesh. I just kept thinking it was from her "virus" and that she didn't want to be in the car (have you met her? She is busy!) Once we got all settled she was happy on the beach (as any Elrod or Kimbrough would be!), but her "spark" was still not there. She wouldn't sleep in her bed we made for her, but that night I let her sleep with me. She screamed out a lot in the night.

Sunday morning she seemed a little better. She laid down for a little nap and I headed out to the beach while my "non sun loving" husband stayed in with her. I was in the middle of reading my book, when I got his text that couldn't have been 25 minutes later saying, "She's up. Screaming". I ran up to get her. And that's when I knew I'd seen enough. She was screaming inconsolably. I have never, ever, ever seen her like that. She didn't want me or Joseph. She didn't want anything we were trying to do. Just screaming. I knew this was no virus. I found a place open on a Sunday and took her in. She continued to scream as the nurse tried to get her vital signs. She was actually so inconsolable that she was unable to do anything. Ady was so scared and in so much pain. When the dr came in he opened her mouth and immediately said,"She's got strep!" He then proceeded to check her ears and found they were both severely imflammed and infected. He sent us on our way with a prescription. We went down the road to Kroger and the bad news followed us. 

They were out of it. "Ok. Can you call another one?" The pharmacist called 4 different pharmacies, all of which were "out" of it. How can you be out of an important antibiotic? But, whatever. She then calls the doctor back and explains the situation and asks if he wants to change her to a different one altogether. He prescribes her a word I can't even pronounce. All I know is that it had Sulfa in it. Or at least, now I know this. I thought nothing of it, just paid for the medicine and headed back. 

Ady pitched absolute fits each time I'd give her the medicine. She is usually an excellent medicine taker so I couldn't quite figure out what the deal was. I now discovered it must be a very "chalky" like medicine with very little flavor. So I continue to give her this medicine that is supposedly helping her. This was Sunday. Monday evening I noticed at dinner she was breaking out on the back of her neck, ear, and shoulders. I initially thought it was from the dress she had on. Prior to leaving, my mom had given me her "Kohl's Cash" to use and I had found her a couple sundresses. I didn't have time to wash them. But, as the night progressed and I changed her I then realized that couldn't be it. Ady doesn't have sensitive skin. I can use the same detergent for her clothes on ours, so it just didn't make sense. 

After a call to my mom, her doctor, the pharmacist, and anyone else I could think of who would listen to me, we decided to wait it out and just see. The next morning it didn't seem any worse, but it wasn't gone. Then I got to thinking it was a reaction to the sun. The bottle did say something on it about avoiding prolonged exposures to the sun. And I remember reading it and thinking, "yeah right" :) So, I assumed that was it. That day we tried (as best we could) to keep her shaded, but with a toddler who only knows one mode of transportation-running-it was quite a task. 

She didn't rest any that day and mommy and daddy were on day "I've lost count" of her being up most the night. We went out to a restaurant and within 20 minutes we were in and out the door. On a side note, restaurants are becoming trickier with her. Anything for that matter where she has to sit still is. I know I can't be in the minority here :) Anyways, while we were sitting at dinner and I was trying to contain my wild monkey I noticed her bumps had gone from flat to raised, and were very bumpy. Then, I noticed they were also on her tummy, back, and her legs were becoming swollen. This was looking more like "hives". I started to cry. I was so tired, so sick of talking to nurses, pharmacists, doctors, you name it. I told Joseph I wanted to go take her to a pharmacy and see if they could tell me what to do until at least morning came and I could take her back to Urgent Care. I can remember as he was boxing up our dinner, just praying that they would hear me and that they would cut through any 'red tape' they might need to help. I had remembered passing a Walgreens on the way down, but as soon as we pulled out on the other side of the street I saw a CVS. I literally felt a strong urge to pull across traffic and go there. I walked in looking for the pharmacy and then walked right past a door wide open with a sign above that read "Walk in Clinic". I walked past it at first, then turned, saw the doctor, and said, "I need to speak with you." She sat up from her chair, and came towards me. Little did she know she met a momma who was ready to fight for an answer. 

I explain the situation and I was sobbing. I mean, sobbing. I didn't even tell her I was pregnant. She probably thought I was a blubbering idiot. I didn't care. I just let the tears fall. She looked at her shoulder and said it was a heat rash. She even had Joseph agreeing with her. I gave him the "look". Haha :) I then explained that it was spreading and it was increasing. She then said, "Well she's been in the sand, heat all over her, etc, etc." I said very, very strongly, "No. I am not leaving until you look at her. I have talked to so many people I can't even think straight. Something is not right. I am her mother. I know. Please." She happened to look at her leg when Ady turned her body and said, "Wait a second, this is swollen, and this is not looking like a rash." I wanted to say "Duh". But, I didn't. She said, "Sign her in!" The quick sign in process was painless and easy and when we went in to talk with her she did a thorough exam. All of the time, which, Ady screamed. Can you blame her? The poor thing had been put through it. She determines that she has had an allergic reaction. Her exact words were "Throw that bottle away now. I would be scared to ever give it to her again." My mental thoughts are, "Yes, Exactly, what her mother thought when this conversation began..." But the story doesn't stop there. 

She then checks her ears to see that they are still infected. Her throat is still inflammed, but Ady is so inconsolable that she doesn't even bother to swab her for strep again. She then says, "You know, it just dawned on me that Sulfa doesn't even kill the strep or ear infection. It is a bactrum used to treat urinary tract infections." How nice. You better believe Beach Urgent Care will be getting a letter from me. To say "irate" to describe my emotions doesn't even come close. This doctor prescribes her Augmentin, which she has had before. She sends us on our merry way. I thank her, and cry again, and she turns to Joseph and says, "Any questions?" She didn't have the softest heart, to say the least :) 

I start her on the new antibiotic Wednesday morning. This is the part where if you're still following me (and congratulations on making it this far, my faithful readers), but if you are not a parent, please don't read on. It's graphic and a lot of information that you will roll your eyes at and be disguisted with. She begins having diarrhea quite frequently, but I think nothing of it. By Thursday she had had so much again that I was just thinking it was medicine. We were traveling that day. On Friday, I counted, and 13 times she did. She had the most awful, painful, sad, looking diaper rash that words can not even begin to describe. It encompassed such a vast area that you can't even imagine. And, on top of it it was so raw, it was bleeding. At 4:45 Friday, I called her pediatrician's office. They prescribed her an ointment to give her every 4 hours as well as Maalox dabbed on a cotton swab and then coating that with A&D ointment (in case you mommy's out there ever need to know). She cried a cry I've never heard before. I've heard her pain cry before, but this was the "excruciating, burning, mommy make it stop cry." I had tears in my eyes as I was dabbing her sweet little bottom. (Let me also tell you we were told to take her diaper off. I'll spare you the details. Just imagine a puppy running through your home with a stomach bug. Joseph and I were running like wild banches cleaning up all types of things on our floor. It was so funny. The things we do for those we love). :) 

Her dr wanted to see her this morning. I was given instructions to stop the antibiotic, so as of this morning she had not had a dose in 24 hours. However, since the Sulfa did nothing to treat the infections, she had technically only been on medicine for 2.5 days. So lovely. The dr checked her rash and said, "This is better?" Again, you can not even imagine how bad it was. It looked much better today, but it still looks awful. He then explained that if we don't continue to treat the strep with antibiotics, it could turn into rheumatic heart failure, so he prescribed her Amoxicillian to take. (Are you with me here? That's 3 prescriptions in  6 days. And 4 doctor visits.) He said the amount of diarrhea she was having was grounds for concern. Also, I was confused since she had been on Augmentin before. Apparently there is on "old" kind still prescribed, the one that she was in fact given, and it has a stronger dose of one of the ingredients in it that is very damaging to the GI tract. He assured me that when they prescribe Augmentin, it's the "new" (which he said is only 5 years "new") medicine, so any fears about the future were dismissed. I was concerned, however because Ady has had strep 4 times. 2 more times and he says the tonsils come out and we go to the ENT. I had a lot of problems with my ears as a young child, as well as numerous surgeries. I even had a tumor growing that was removed when I was in 7th grade, I had my eardrum "rebuilt", both eardrums ruptured twice, etc, etc. I so hope that Ady doesn't have to walk this road. But, we'll cross that if we get to it. Until then, I'll just pray her sweet little throat stays well. 

This vacation wasn't exactly a "vacation". But, what I learned is, it's life. We were by ourselves in a strange town and things were just wild. I learned more things in the last 7 days than I even knew possible. Ady is such a good baby. I mean, such a good baby. To have experienced all the trauma the last week (and trauma is a nice word for what she went through last night), and to still be able to smile and laugh just makes me so proud. 

She had a great time on the trip. She learned to count to 7 :) She can now sing all of Twinkle, Twinkle and knows her ABC's. When we were leaving the doctor's office this morning she said, "TWO!!" And there was a door with the number 2 on it :) Makes this teacher proud. I love watching her learn and explore. Each day she says new words. She is very expressive. There is never a question of what she is trying to tell me she wants. I am savoring each second because time is just passing too quickly. I'll leave you with some pictures highlighting our trip:

 It really was a great time because no matter how bad situations  are, I have some wonderful people to call family that make life so worth living :)