A Quick Update!

I may not ever get this parking spot again, so I wanted my picture by it today :) 

Ready for our adventure? Today's ultrasound shows Henry back on track, not looking like a large baby (whew....and mommy breathes a sigh of relief!). If they are basing my measurements on my last menstrual period (which is not a good indicator anyways since after surgery there was a lot of spotting and back and forth irregularity....), then I'm "technically" only 34 weeks. Today, he measured at 35. Ady was born at 37. So where does that put Henry? Almost 2 weeks away. This is good news. Especially because, we want him healthy. 

I did not see the doctor today because it was just an ultrasound. But, we waited forever. Ady goes with me to every appointment (another time it would be lovely if we lived in the same town as Gaga!), and is usually so so good. They all love her, but today, bless her heart, after an hour and 1/2 of just waiting she was done. Joseph was there with me, thankfully, or I think I would've never made it. Once I made it to the ultrasound the tears came on. She doesn't like watching them do anything to me (which is why Gaga is on call to come and keep Ady from knowing anything is happening to mommy before Henry comes into this world!). Henry was, once again, " a little stinker " as the tech called him because he has yet to show us his face again the last 3 ultrasounds. He is balled up so tight and puts that hand over his face. I did see his little cute button nose that looks just like Ady, though :) When I had an ultrasound in the hospital a week ago last Monday his head was so far down it was pushing on my cervix causing me to dilate. Staying off my feet is helping, but today she could see the top of his head, which told her, he's messing with our heads and not trying to come out just yet :)

At my last ultrasound he was weighing a little larger than what they like to see for that time, hence the reason for today's visit. It appears he just went through a growth spurt because he seems right about where he should be. Weighing at 5.4 pounds. "They" say babies grow about .5 lb a week, so if he arrives in about 2 weeks (which is what the thinking is now), he'll weigh around 6 lb, which is what his sister did at birth :) Sidenote-today there was a baby that weighed almost 8 lbs in the waiting room and I could've sworn it only weighed 4. He was so tiny. For those of you who met Ady as a brand new infant, you can remember. She could literally ball herself up in the palm of both hands and fit. Hard to believe she was ever that small! It will be nice to have another little teeny tiny baby to hold again :)  

I mentioned to the tech that last week I had lost my plug and she said, "Do they know???". I told her they didn't seem concerned and she said for some pregnancies it can mean you labor pretty quickly (like I did with Ady), but sometimes it's up to 3 weeks. Well, y'all. Today marks week 1. If we go to 2 more weeks that'll put him right about "full term" and that'd be perfect. I have an appointment next Thursday and then the following Thursday. The hope is-he stays through to the 2nd Thursdays visit. But, we know that regardless of if he comes now or in a week, or 2 weeks, or even 4 weeks, he will be perfectly fine. 

I've been quite confused since one visit had me 8 weeks off, another 2 week back, then 2 ahead, etc, etc. And I'm sure everyone reading this is too....So for now-we've decided to stop calculating our dates and times and just wait on him to come, knowing that we are out of the "danger" zone and that it appears his weight is just absolutely perfect. Dr still wants me to "take it easy", but today the tech said "go walk him out, girl!" (I think she thinks he's coming soon, but of course she can't say so). For now, I"m going to hope he holds off so we can celebrate the princesses' birthday on Saturday with our family and friends and then her actualy birthday on Sunday. :) I'm looking so forward to the perfect "Pinkalicious" party :)

It's so hard to believe that this Sunday, 2 years ago, this picture was taken:

Why did I blink? She is so big. Time, just slow down :) 

Looking forward to adding one more to this picture here in the next few days/weeks (and hoping Betsy will be working when Henry is born. Loved, loved, LOVED her!) 

We'll keep y'all posted. Thanks for the prayers. God is good, all the time.

The Lasts.

One of my favorite authors is Karen Kingsbury. I've read just about every single book she's written. But, there's one in particular, a children's book, that makes me sob uncontrollably every time I read it. It's called "Let Me Hold You Longer". The book goes through all the different seasons that the mom didn't see as "lasts" and what she might've done if she'd known. I know, depressing, right?

I'm finding myself right now in that stage. That stage of lasts. Blame it on the excessive hormones. I am crying at anything now, and often. Poor Joseph. But, I got to thinking the other night about these lasts. These final precious few weeks (perhaps, days), and moments that will soon become distant memories.

For the sake of not repeating myself and for those of you who may not have ever read this blog to be confused, if you're not sure about why I always refer to these 2 precious babies as miracles read this: But, have your tissue handy. http://1littlemiracle.blogspot.com/2012/04/overjoyed.html

I have wrestled with anxious thoughts this pregnancy and really having a difficult time relinquishing control. It's funny how when I thought I was about to lose the very things that made me a woman back in November, it felt so easy and natural for me to just let go, and let God. I am most definitely in a season of trusting Him. I think this "anxiety" of how things will turn out stems from my control and fear of the unknown. Of what's just around the corner once Henry comes. The mess that's gone in in my body has not been kind to me and major decisions will have to come. Ones that I don't want to face. But what does worrying do? It doesn't add a single hour to the day. So, friends, hold me accountable. Remind me to rest in the arms of the One who has everything under control. He doesn't want me to worry. He didn't want me to worry 9 months ago and He most certainly doesn't want me to worry now.

I have had so much confusion with this pregnancy with numbers, stats, measurements, etc that it's enough to make my head spin. I truly believe the Lord has a sense of humor and is using this season to humble me and remind me that He is really the only one in charge; that I may try to plan, but it is He who will direct the steps. A few weeks ago, I went in for an ultrasound and found that he was weighing at 4 lbs 6 oz. (I had Ady at 37 weeks and she was hardly 6 lbs). He was larger than what they like to see, (which explains why this preggo here who doesn't eat massive amounts had massive weight gain!), so they made an appointment for me to go back on the 29th for a recheck growth. At that point they will see what he is weighing and then go from there. My dr has made it very clear that she will not let me have a large baby. My OCD planner doesn't like this part (and God is laughing). Will she induce me? Will he come on his own like Ady did? My due date has been 10-10 all along, but was moved to 9-30. If he came at 37 weeks like Ady, he would be expected 9-9. But this past week has really thrown me for a loop....

Monday I began feeling an extreme amount of pressure. I called my OB and she wanted me to come in immediately. I had a meeting with a bride scheduled and literally 15 minutes beforehand, had to cancel. I drove myself to the hospital as Joseph stayed home with little Ady. I had a few contractions, but nothing were patterned (but, hey, neither were Ady's up until the second she entered this world--YIKES!). I had already dilated. He is actually sitting on my cervix and over and over again she kept saying "Gosh, he's low". As in "Geez, lady you must carry children bizarrely." Haha. I had that happen with Ady at just about every visit. Which explains why she came out so ridiculously fast. Then, she told me I need to "stay off my feet" and "take it easy". Two terms that are not found in my DNA. She also ran a FFN test that apprently can "guarantee" you won't deliver prematurely within the next 10-14 days. It was negative. That is good news. But, seriously-how can any test be that foolproof? Don't babies have agendas of their own?? So Monday I made it back home and just thought it would all be ok. Tuesday Ady was a really good helper for me. She climbed up on the couch by herself (I"m not supposed to lift her-which is not always possible to avoid), and has been my little side kick being my helper. Wednesday, was a different story. I stubbornly wanted to get things done. I had several appliquing/sewing things to complete and errands to run. It was a very busy day and I very much overworked myself.

If you are not a person who cares to hear someone who gives too much information, please don't read forward. My intent in saying this is to see if anyone else has been here too. Wednesday evening I began losing part of my "plug". I didn't say anything until almost bedtime to Joseph, of which he then freaked out. I lost it with Ady and 3 days later....the water broke. Thursday there was more, lots, except this time there was blood in it. I immediately called my dr almost in tears (ok, I was in tears). She said that she felt so strongly about this test and that women can lose it early on, it's not necessarily an indication of impending labor. (Sidenote: I don't really care what a test says....it surely can not be completely accurate, right? Anyone been here?). She also said I needed to sit and the only way I was allowed to go to Louisville Sunday for my shower was if I sat and didn't drive. I had to cancel coordinating the wedding this weekend and felt just awful. But, I forget that I'm not working where I was with Ady. Where it was most definitely not accepted to be on bedrest. The head coordinator was beyond understanding and offered to help in any way she could and said she had been and would continue to be praying for Henry. God is so good.  Back to the story---I kept saying to my OB, "but I did this with Ady! You're sure it won't happen again?" She said she was very confident it'd be ok and I was in no danger of delivering yet. This momma? Not convinced. Henry's Gaga? Not convinced either. Henry's daddy? Same story. I trust my doctor and feel that she is the best for my care. I know that every decision she makes has mine and Henry's best interest at heart. She always listens to me and I have formed a friendship with her and her office staff. However, having said that, she also told me children would never be possible. So, doctor's don't know everything. She also told me at 9:30 the night Ady was born we'd be there all night and at 10:27 she was in my arms. She may be right, he may stay put a long time. But, my gut says otherwise. And my heart is just not ready....

I am not emotionally ready for this new adventure if I were to be completely honest. But, who really is? I can't imagine having two children to raise, two children to take to and from the grocery store, two children to take to church, two children to feed, two children to play with, two children to share my heart with. But regardless of if I can imagine it or not, he's a coming!

I have really struggled with this pregnancy ending, as much as I can't wait to hold him, my heart still aches for what may be the last. Then I feel so incredibly selfish for those thoughts; for the many women who will never, ever experience what I have been able to twice. My heart is at peace with adoption because we are most definitely not finished with growing our family, but there is also a piece of me that just wants to savor the sweet moments of pregnancy. We may be able to conceive more. There is no question that God's faithfulness and power has been shown in my life, and no stopping what He may do, but I also know that it doesn't mean He will continue to grow us this way. If this were the last time my body would ever get to carry a child, what would be the things I'd want to hold onto? To sit and soak up every.single.second. To let the wiggles and kicks remind me of a God who loves and heals and rescues and restores. To not be discouraged by my swelling hands and feet, but rather rejoice that the Lord has knit together in my womb the most beautiful creation of all time. For the nights that I can't sleep and I lie awake for hours; to just be thankful. To take the time to praise Him for what He has done, even through tired eyes when it can be difficult. 

One of the saddest lines in this book says "Would I have held on longer if I'd of known it was the last?" Friends, I want to meet Henry, I do. But I don't want this to end. I'm sobbing as I'm typing this now. God has been so very faithful to our family. I have been so spoiled to get to experience this again. I don't want it to end. I just want to hold on a little bit longer. 

If I could write a letter to Ady before she meets Henry, this would be it:

Dear Ady, 

I am so proud of the precious little girl that you are. I am so honored to be your mommy and watch you kneel on the ground with your hands folded and pray. I hope that you always know how much Jesus loves you and that someday you make a decision to trust Him with your life. I hope that you know that mommy and daddy are teaching and training you to know Him and pray everyday, and will for the rest of our lives, that you will allow Him to use you in ways that are unimaginable. I marvel at your sweet heart and nature and how caring you are. I know you won't understand once Henry gets here. Mommy won't be able to give you all the undivided attention that you are so used to. Be patient with me and know that I love you so deeply. A love that until you have a child one day you just can not begin to grasp. My precious Ady, you will always be so very special to me. You are living proof that God is the only one in control. My precious little miracle. I longed so desperately for you. There has never been anything that has brought me greater joy than taking care of you. Teach Henry to be brave and strong like you are. I love you more than you could ever imagine. 

Love, 

Mommy

And if I could write Henry a letter, this would be it:

Dear Henry, 

I haven't met you yet, but I have an image in my mind of what you will look like. I still find myself in awe of you growing inside my body. I hope you never have one second in your lifetime when you feel unloved. Mommy and daddy were so surprised to hear when we were going to have your sister, but you surely surprised us. God has a huge plan for your life. He doesn't make mistakes. And you, my child, are most definitely on this Earth for a reason. I can't imagine how life will change once you come. But, I know the moment they lay you in my arms I will know a love just as deep as the one I feel for Ady. She may not understand sometimes why she has to share with you. Be patient with her as she learns. Be patient with me too. I'm still new to this whole parent thing. But, one thing I can assure you, you are loved. I pray you will learn to love Jesus and that someday you will use your life story to be a testimony to the faithfulness of God. I love you, Henry. More than you could ever imagine. 

Love, 

Mommy

Our lives are about to drastically change. These moments of lasts will soon become firsts as we transition to a family of 4. My prayer is that God will continue to be glorified in our lives as we share what He has done for us. We covet your prayers as we walk this road and pray God's will on our family and His perfect timing for Henry's grand entrance into this world !

"My heart rejoices in the Lord....No one is holy like the Lord, for there is none besides You, nor is there any rock like our God" (1 Samuel 2:1-2)

 

Just a little recap....

We had the most wonderful vacation this past week in Florida. It was not the most comfortable for this hippo of a pregnant woman, but that's ok. :) I was able to add to my ever growing tan and watch sweet little Ady just soak up every second of fun in the sun!

She deserves the prize for the world's greatest traveler. Seriously. A 2 year old in the car for 12 + hours and not an ounce of tears were shed. She was so so so good! She loved the sand, the sun, the pool, and being just absolutely loved and doted on by every member of the Elrod/Kimbrough/Bischoff family :)

Here are some pics of our trip:

She loves her daddy :) 

 Gaga got to hear Ady quote her book she loves, Silly Sally :)

Little fishy :) 

She loves the water! 

The princess on her float :) 

Such a cutie :) 

All her "boy toys" lined up. Haha. 

Not quite ready for pictures :) 

  

Playing in the rain during a very brief moment of bad weather! 

And, for some other news--the clock is surely ticking! It seems like any moment now Henry could arrive. I haven't updated in a while (better yet, haven't updated much at ALL through this pregnancy), but before we left for vacation we were given some very unexpected news.....

I suspected all along that I was farther with him than what was "marked" my due date. At around 8 weeks I felt him move. I KNOW that's what I felt. You "can't" feel a baby that early. He also measured larger on his "big" ultrasound about 10-12 weeks ago, but the tech didn't do any adjusting to my due date; just said they would look as time grew closer. I went to the dr on July 5 and measured pretty behind at 24 weeks. Then on July 26 (just 3 weeks later), I measured at 32 weeks. A HUGE jump of 8 weeks worth of growth. Clarification: this is a science that I have not yet mastered when it comes to obstetrics, but some people thought that meant I was measuring 8 weeks farther than I was, I wasn't. Just measuring 8 weeks farther from what I measured last visit. (Tomorrow will clarify what in the world I am!) I have also gained a good amount of weight. At my visit on July 5 I had gained 8 lbs in 4 weeks (which is double what they like to see and very off track from what I was doing before). She had suspected it was from possibly retaining fluid since Ady and I live at the pool. However, at my visit on July 26 I had gained too much as well. I do not eat in excess. Even Joseph often says, "You just don't eat like a normal pregnant woman!". So tomorrow they are going to run some tests to see if maybe my hydration levels are off or something else is. Thus far my urine is still clear and not showing any signs of gestational diabetes. The dr's guess? A baby that is packing on lbs like the last month. Yikes, yikes, yikes!

These days I feel much like this picture:

We are ready car wise- for little Henry to arrive! 

 

We were having some rather expensive issues with our Equinox (and not to mention barely fitting all our junk on road trips with just ONE baby!), so we traded her in for this black beauty :) 

 

I know my high school friends reading this are not surprised. Me, the soccer mom, in the minivan. I LOVE it. Can't wait to bring Mr. Henry home in it. But.....hold tight a little longer, buddy! 

There is still so much I need to do before he comes. For one, I have a huge wedding I am coordinating at the end of the month and so desperately want to be able to still do it. My sweet friend is hosting a shower for me the last Sunday in August and I want to make it to that too (because y'all know I have only pink and polka dots and bows in this household!) :). Not to mention Ady's birthday party (that I don't know any other way to plan except over the top) on September 1st, and her 2nd birthday (is this possible?) on the 2nd. But, just like with Ady, I learned that babies do not come when planned. My personality and OCD with planning every single aspect of my life has to come to a screeching halt. I have to loosen my reigns, actually-I have to just let them go.

It's easy for my mind to wander and think about so much. The dr has made it clear that I will most likely go extremely fast once he comes. In fact, Joseph has been instructed to know what to do in the event I can't make it in time (of this I am not laughing about...). She also expects him to be born around 37-38 like I was with Ady. Of course I could go to 42 weeks and have a 36 hour long labor :) But, judging by the history, it appears when my children are ready, they're ready! He's already very low and in position to enter this world. There is a lot of uncertainty I have. For one the ability to juggle 2 children under 2, but primarily the capacity to love another child as deeply as I love Ady. 

 

 

But, I am reminded by God's still small voice to be anxious for nothing; that He has this all taken care of.

Thank you, friends for following our story. Hard to imagine and grasp that someday soon I will be holding 2 precious little miracles in my arms. Relishing these sweet kicks and moments of pure perfection. And praising God for granting me the deepest longing of my heart and proving that miracles still happen. :)